Almost "home"-weight issues-asshole husband in 2014
- Feb. 1, 2014, 8:14 a.m.
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- Public
I really am starting to feel like this could be "home". I know that its weird to get so attached to a website for blogging but really... I wrote my life at OpenDiary. Its hard to just watch it die. I'm a bit miffed though, as I heard that the owner had offers to sell, and yet refused them?
I'm just happy you are all (well mostly) over here now. That helps. I plan on finding new people to read as well as I've lost a lot of you through the last 2 years of OD being a pain in the ass to write in.
I feel like crap today. And last night. All of a sudden I was super nauseous! I was afraid to move, so I stayed up on the couch watching TV until I fell asleep. Now I'm just plain tired, and a bit yucky feeling. I wouldn't have even given it a second thought if it wasn't for the fact that Miley had the flu last weekend. Freaks me out that she had it and this could be it attacking me now. lol As you all know, I can't deal with vomit...whether my own, or my kids. Just, nope. Can't do it.
I weighed myself this morning and I was like damn. Damn damn damn. You see, I've been 135-138 pounds for like 2 years now. And I am super extremely comfortable at that weight. I would just like to maintain it. Thing is, I want to be around 125. And I know how easy it would be to get there, a tiny change in diet and maybe some walking. Problem is, I'd have to keep up on that. Meanwhile I'm happy here just being able to maintain the 135-138 by doing practically nothing and just being a generally healthy eater. I don't want my weight to become high maintenance. So by dropping in weight, means that if I ever get back to 135, that would be my "heavy" weight or my bigger weight, know what I mean?
I'm down to 130. And already my head is all omg, stay there, do what you gotta do. And I wont, and I will be back at my comfortable 135, which was once perfectly fine, but now, NOW thats my heavy weight lmao. Stupid brain. Know what I mean though?? Like now I want to be 130. I have problems.
Kristen
EDIT
Chris and I have been doing really well, but today he started in with being a fucking asshole again, so we will see where this goes. I can honestly fucking say that I don't want him to be their dad. Hes a fucking dick.
I told him to go get in the shower because I wanted to leave soon and this is word for word what he said to me "I'm not showering until you tell me what I'm allowed to do today, are you forcing me to be with you and the kids all day or can I go fishing???"
I'm so done with his stupid ass.
Kristen >:(
raeven ⋅ February 01, 2014
It it gives you any comfort, I would be thrilled to be under 200 lbs .. it's all a matter of perspective, I suppose.
Overcoming the Darkness ⋅ February 01, 2014
I'm miffed about OD dying too. I've giving this place a try. I hope you feel better.
goddess ⋅ February 01, 2014
I totally get you with the weight thing. For years, I was perfectly comfortable at a certain weight...it was healthy, I thought I looked fine. And then I lost 10lb or so, in a not very healthy way, and then that weight I had previously been just fine with became my super-scary "never going to be that big again" weight. And I'm still struggling with this, because since having a baby my body is really determined to stay at that old number that I used to be fine with. Body stuff is frustrating.
And yeah, I do understand that OD was no longer profitable so he didn't have the time for it anymore, but I truly do not understand why he wouldn't just sell it, rather than forcing it to die. Oh well, at least a lot of people have found their way over here.
Katie Kizzle ⋅ February 01, 2014
I know what you mean about the weight thing...stupid numbers have so much of a pull on our mind. And there really are no words for what your husband said! Spending time with his family shouldn't be a chore you would think.
Hotaru ⋅ February 02, 2014
I'm glad that you are getting settled in over here.