Sick... in Fresh Start...

Laying in bed sick. I don’t want to do anything. I was feeling a bit off on Friday and woke up Saturday morning feeling like hell.

Haven’t done much…

Talked to F on Friday because I had to because it was work related… he tried to talk to me about the girl he’s seeing. I know her name now. And that she supposedly has ptsd from something. And that she’s crazy. And that she basically adopted a cat and left it at his apartment and has yet to take it to her place. And that getting rid of her is just something on his to do list.

I have to stop feeling like this. I have to just ignore him. I have to move on. I’m pretty sure my emotional state the past couple months is just pushing everyone away.

I hung out with JM Friday night bc I just really didn’t want to be alone. I was upset after work. I had a couple beers and then got a little high. Not like it takes much. Of course when I’m high all I want to do is touch and be touched. He ended up staying the night. We went to red robin the next day for lunch. Turns out his cousin is a manager there. She comped our food. He turned beet red bc he figures she’ll tell his family she saw him out with a girl and ask a bunch of questions. I told him he should just be happy I was nice and didn’t say anything inappropriate. He came back to my place after and ended up staying and just watching movies on the couch with me. I feel bad because I know he’s sucked back in and he’ll end up getting hurt again.