Back to Square One in New Beginnings

I had my interview with the school system in Athens two Thursdays ago. I thought it went well for me. It was a panel interview with three other associates in addition to my interviewer. I went though all of their questions, but I think I need to do better practicing my answers. I was able to answer everything, but I stammer when I’m nervous, and I know I stammered a good bit during the interview. Afterwards, I had to take a test. I should mention that the interview took place in a school. One of the associates took me up stairs to an empty office area with a desk, laptop, and test instructions.

It’s funny how little things can change. I finished high school over 17 years ago, and this wasn’t even my high school, but the floor, the walls, the rubberized steps, the smell, everything was so much like it was nearly two decades ago. I felt like I should have been in jeans and a t-shirt with a book bag as opposed to a suit and tie. I’m sure to the few students still hanging around, I’m sure my adulthood made me seem worlds apart from them. They all looked so young to me. Granted, I looked older than my age when I was a teenager, but I don’t remember any of my peers having such baby faces. I remember the girls I fancied looking like young women, with their womanhood holding more emphasis than their youth, but they all looked like children.

My test was basic. During one part of it, I was supposed to look over several purchase requests from various employees, then approve or deny the request based upon the budget and the information in the request. The second part was a simple populating an Excel worksheet based based upon an example time sheet. The email I received regarding my interview told me there would be a test, though it didn’t provide any specifics. However, that email also said I’d have 45 minutes to complete it. I didn’t time it, but there’s no way I had 45 minutes during the actual test. I’d guess 20. When she told me I had ten minutes left, I panicked a bit, rushed through the rest of the first portion, then dove into the Excel section. I thought I did alright with nothing condemnable in the first portion and my Excel work being very strong. I guess I didn’t measure up because yesterday I received an email thanking me for my time, but they had decided to hire another candidate. At least the posting was removed from the job board, so I believe they really did opt for another candidate instead of giving me a polite kiss off.

The full-time busy season/part-time rest-of-the-year position with the CPA firm moved forward before coming to a halt. I sent Tom my references a couple of weeks ago, and he immediately began checking them out. My references notified me that they had been contacted. That’s all I heard. Maybe I’m just reacting to the rejection from other position, but I’m guessing the managing partners wanted to hold out for someone with tax preparation experience. In fairness, it took Tom a little while to contact me after I submitted my application, so maybe the process with this firm is just naturally slow.

My replacement starts Monday. I thought I’d be leaving after we closed October’s books, but my manager’s manager said he wanted me around for her first to closings, so my departure has been moved to December. My stuff is in no way ready to be handed off. I need to clean up the rest of that snafu that was hoisted on me by my manager, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to do so while I’m training her.

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and say something you held in. I was thinking about my employee review, the one where my manager said I wasn’t making sufficient progress on my annual objectives. I was thinking about how I just sat there in front of him and the HR lady, agreeing with his assessment of me like a wuss. I wish I had been more assertive. If I could do it over again, I might say: “I’ll acknowledge that I haven’t made good progress on my annual objectives, but I don’t think that’s entirely my fault. I had no difficulty meeting my objectives before management started interfering with capex/fixed asset responsibilities. For the record, I opposed every ridiculous decision ya’ll made that has caused this current mess. I didn’t want to start spending on that project without going through the proper approval process. I didn’t want to let amounts hit the capital account without project numbers. I said that if this went sideways, it’d be an unmanageable mess, and your response was ‘We hear what you’re saying, but we’re going to do it anyways.’ You get your way, my job becomes impossible, and I’m just supposed to ignore it, focus on those other things, and hope when I’m forced to bring my attention back to my initial job responsibilities, that capex has deteriorated further? You can say it won’t, but you said the unassigned spending or approval without project numbers wouldn’t cause problems, yet here we are. Consider for a fact that you don’t have to clean it up. It must be easy to make risky decisions like that when someone has to endure the fall-out. All that being said, I appreciate how you’ve employed me these past five years, but this position has come to an end. Consider this my resignation. I’ll stay until you find a replacement. Good luck with that.”

Maybe it’s better I didn’t. Maybe it’s better I didn’t burn that bridge, or kick down an already burning bridge as it were. It’s coming to an end. I don’t really care if I don’t have a job lined upon once I’m gone. I’ve been through worse, I’ll get through this.