Set in stone in Who I Am

Currently listening to

I just cruised a blunt with my sister and her friend/ I suppose my friend too :) Syd.

I’m starting to like Syd a lot more. When I first met her that wasn’t really the case, so I’m happy that I’m getting along with her now. she’s pretty cool and she was actually really nice to me when Matt and I broke up so that was awesome of her. Shes been really supportive of me with working out and that’s something I will forever appreciate.

She’s having issues with her boyfriend. Poor gal.

I just smoked my first joint I ever rolled lol I always give up and have someone help me, or just smoke out of glass. but after the blunt cruise I was feeling it. it was actually kind of a dope joint, and I’m baked affff. It’s a good time. This music is helping me relax, I’ve had anxiety about my feelings for Alex alllll damn day. This is the worst part of seeing him. It’s like I’m worried I won’t see him again. but I know I will!

I guess not so deep down I just fear rejection. It’s simple. Even if things work out initially, I know people have a “bad side” so what is his bad side? What if he’s just really really sweet but does happen to still only want a casual sex friends relationship?? Could I deal with that? And for how long?
If we DID end up as bf/gf, how would that work with him living in L? Does he have a kid or something? What is his flaw!!!!

God dammit lol I’m telling you. Less than 12 hours ago I was on cloud 9 not givin a shittt about any of the implications of how I felt.

And now look at me. Overthinkin everything. And I know its not because im high bc ive been thinking about it allllll night haha

I need to chill. Maybe i’ll take a dab. he left me some of those too. because hes perfect of course.

Or maybe ill just go to bed. pry that. he opened my snapchat like a hour ago. and hasn’t responded. whyyyy.

“boys only want love if its torture”