Let's be more than this in Who I Am

Last night was magical. I didn’t even think it was gonna happen at one point in the day.
This gal who I NEVER make close had to close on a Friday night and of course only 2 hours before her shift she texts me like “im not gonna be able to come in” and im like “okay then that’s a write up” fuck you lmao I know shes pregnant, but I really feel like shes bullshitting me. I mean for REAL on a Friday night?? I know you’re not partying but come on. It’s irritating. So I had to pull a slick one and text everyone I knew to ask for a closer. I found one!

So my shift that was originally 8-3 became 7:30-5:45. ewww lol I’m just glad I didn’t have to close beccauseee my plans to have a cute ass haloween date with Alex came to fruition!

My feelings for him are getting to the point where I don’t really want to fuck around with other people anymore…and that’s kinda how I know it’s getting real lol like maybe im being a fuckin fool about all this but I really think there’s something real and special between him and I.

Last night when he came over, I just couldn’t stop smiling and honestly I noticed that he couldn’t either. which..i love about him. Matt was so straight faced and serious. Alex is a goofball, and SO SO SO CUTE. I told him he has the cutest smile I’ve EVER seen. Because it’s incredibly true.

When he kisses me, this song plays in my head. And yes the CG version. That voiceee Unhhhh.

SO into this dude. It’s insane.

We went to Scary Acres and while we were waiting to get into the haunted house, it was cold aff but he literally kept me so warm the whole time. he made sure he was in front of the wind gusts and he was so sweet.. he was smiling and kissing me and holding me, putting his arm around me. <3 <3 <3 boyfriend shit.

He paid for EVERYTHING. Like… everything. We waited in line for a coffee truck thing and he paid for that, and the greater part??? THE GREATER PART?
every person Alex encountered, he treated with respect and was so nice. he tipped every chance he got last night and I hope he knows I noticed because I totally did. He talked to every vendor like they were a person! “How are you, I’m good thank you, have a good night!”

Like… such a sweetheart. That’s one of those things being from the restaurant industry that I just appreciate soo so much. That tells me you are a good person.

After we got our drinks I tried his and it was so good that I kinda wanted it, but I never said it. He just asked if I wanted to trade and I was like “no dude you ordered this, im not gonna take your drink” and he basically forced the trade on me, in the cutest way ever. Idk if he actually even liked my drink or if he just lied because he knew I liked his more.

HES PERFECT.

We grabbed some food which he also paid for, and ate by multiple bonfires. We kept having to move bc it was so windy haha but it was still cute, despite the intense winds and temp. on our way out he bought glow sticks because hes way cute.

And he was singin on the car rides, which I adore. I could listen to that forever.

<3 <3 <3 <3
When we got back we got stoned and then started making out on the couch, which led to standing and walk-kissing to the bedroom and then he straight up CARRIES ME to the bed while kissing me.

THIS DUDE. ROMANCING THE FUCK out of me at EVERY turn.

God damn. When he kisses me it’s like the world just stops. Like.. I get the love songs and shit. This is falling in love. I missed it. I missed it soooo much. He told me I was beautiful, sexy. Such sweet words from such a beautiful man.

I asked him what he’s doing next sunday, because it’s my birthday and he was like “I will see you next sunday” haha yessss!! I get to spend my 26th bday with my future boyfriend. a girl can hope haha

I don’t think it’s unrealistic.

Wise men say only fools rush in. I’m a fuckin fooool for this dude haha its too much.

But I love it. Despite all the heartbreak I’ve experienced, I love love. I don’t know why I don’t give up on it. Oh wait I do, because it’s the most wonderful part of human existence.
Love forever <3