Benefits in Stuff

If I wanted to be in a relationship right now I’d probably be struggling to find someone. But since I’m not eager for companionship at the moment, it seems like Ron really wants to turn our little fling into something serious.

I don’t know if I can fully put into words why I’m not really interested in a relationship right now. The best I can say is I feel content with things the way they are. My career and my kids take up just the right amount of my time leaving the level of free time that I want/need. I don’t want to give that up to be with someone. Maybe that’s selfish.

I don’t feel unfulfilled or anything because I’m single. I don’t need a man to complete me or make me happy. And I don’t say that in a feminist I don’t need a man kind of way, I say it more because I really do feel like my life is full and happy without a romantic companion.

I’m not without desires. But honestly, right now, I feel just fine satisfying those urges by myself. Or with someone that is equally disinterested in a relationship.

But then there’s Ron. He’s a great guy. Honestly, a really sweet wonderful man and I like him a lot and have enjoyed spending the night with him. I don’t think I want any more than that, but I get the feeling he does.

He wants to spend more time together. He wants to get to know my kids better. He wants me to get to know his daughter. None of these are bad, and he’s never pushy about it. But I just don’t want to make the effort right now.

But I have the feeling if I told him I just want to be friends with benefits he’d interpret that as a rejection.