faking smiles... in Deeper Bits (Emotional and such)

I fake smiles too easily. I don’t like that. I get no benefit of it. It’s not conveying the true nature of how I feel. I feel like the girl I thought was my one ripped my heart out, stomped on it, shat on it, and cursed me as she walked away. But yet I manage to smile. Even though I just want to curl up on the couch and listen to sad songs.
I wish it would be easier to show on my face what I feel in my heart. But no, customer service wins again.
Time for sleep.