Red handed in Boystories

I looked at the mother’s note and then at the grinning boy standing before me,
both arms blood red from fingertips to elbows.

Technically, his problem was a grooming violation
and every teacher he encountered the entire day would be sending him back to me.

I write violation passes all day -
for sensitive skinned boys whose dermatologists say they can’t shave,
for mop-topped boys whose hair is allowed to grow so they will be in character for the play at the end of the month,
for sunglass-wearing boys returning from the eye doctor with dilated eyes…

We’ve got forms for almost everything -
But scarlet arms?
Nope.
This was definitely not a form-pass situation.
So I typed up the following and handed it to the inexplicably proud of himself boy.

”Gerard’s hands are red due to an unfortunate incident involving
a poorly planned tie dye project.
Please do not suspect him of any more exciting activities,
homicidal or otherwise.
His mother’s note verifies his heroic and painful
but ultimately futile efforts to remove the red dye from his skin.
This is the best that they could do.
As today is two days before his sister’s wedding,
I think you will agree Gerard is lucky his mother let him live.”

Gerard read the note,
flashed me a completely unguilty grin,
and said only, “Yup!”
before disappearing into the river of boys flowing down the hallway.

Last updated September 10, 2017