Now, this isn’t a new topic in this diary, however, we are going to put a spin on it. If you notice what book this is in, you’ll understand why. I had to go through and FIND this book because I haven’t written in it in a while.
Lets start with the basics, shall we? According to this article on WebMD, which is where everything I’m going to talk about is coming from, the first stage is excitement.
We all know what it feels like feeling excited at the thought of sex or the excitement of touching and kissing and all that, but what happens if none of that works? What happens if there’s no excitement? Why would this even be the case?
Well for someone like myself, who has a slew of medical problems, the thought of sex is sometimes one of “this is going to be exhausting” or “i don’t have the energy to blink, much less have sex right now”. So it can be a challenge.
Along with no drive from time to time, there’s always that lingering, nagging pain or fatigue.
It’s hard to make someone (more specifically, a male) who hasn’t had sex in a while understand that it’s just not in the cards. I have a very understanding significant other, but even then, I sense frustration from him when I go long periods of time without “putting out”. For people like us who have high sex drives, it is VERY frustrating.
If I could have sex multiple times a day, I would. Realistically though, it takes me a day or two to recover from most physical activities in general. A vigorous sex session is no exception. Not only are you exerting energy, you’ve also got to take into consideration the other physical demands it takes. Various positions require lots of moving and one position is boring. Bending the knees, hips, back, etc. It all HURTS.
So while I often find myself “pushing through” the pain, there are many times when that is impossible to do.
Going deeper into the “excitement” phase, you work up a sweat, your blood pressure gets pumping. For someone with a chronic neurological disorder, such as migraines, a spike in blood pressure, however small, could bring on a nasty headache.
I’ve always been told “sex cures headaches!” by people who I’ve had to cancel plans with or just not even bother with. Well yeah, but a headache is only ONE symptom of a migraine. Lets get that blood pumping and before you know it, I could be passed out in pain or vomiting all over you. I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing, then more power to you, but I AM NOT.
The mid-part of the sexual experience is when I can usually tell if I’m going to make it through. By now, the blood vessels in your body start to open up and that “rush of blood to the head” is the yes or no factor for me. Most of the time it’s fine. A lot of other times it’s like being hit in the head with a hammer. And the bent knees, odd positions and whatnot wreak havoc on my body.
If I can make it through all the good stuff that comes in this stage, whatever happens afterwards is really not important.
The orgasm, which doesn’t always happen, obviously, is the hardest part to deal with. It feels amazing, there’s been so much activity that at this point it’s like ok, race to the finish and we’re done. But lingering in that mid-plateau area is always a good thing.
When the orgasm hits, it’s like everything you have ever wanted has come true. And I’m not even joking. If you’ve never had an orgasm brought on by someone else, I sincerely apologize because it is one of the best feelings in the world. Yes, doing it yourself can feel great, but when someone else does it, you’re in for a treat.
The tricky thing here, though, is that orgasms cause all kinds of things to happen. Blood vessels rushing open and muscle tension are two of the major things that happen. These are also two of the main causes of migraines! How despicable is that?!
There has been times where 5 seconds after getting off, my head literally feels like it’s going to pop at any second. Then comes the throbbing migraine. So much pressure has built up in my head that I just want to lay down and not speak for a few days.
I have learned that if I lay down for at least 10 minutes after an intense orgasm or splash water on my face immediately after, I can usually skip that part. Talk about mind-numbing. It’s not always in a good way either.
One of the things I definitely know helps with the whole process for me is obviously marijuana. It not only helps relax my muscles, ease the pain in my joints and sometimes my head if its there, but also just intensifies the sexual experience in general.
I’ve learned to deal with a lot of different things when it comes to sex. I’ve learned my limits and also know what to do in the event that I get a migraine in the middle of it. Sometimes it’s as simple as a change in position, other times, it’s the end of the road.
I hope this brings some insight into what it’s like to deal with chronic conditions and every day life.