Lies, Leaving, and Disco 7/8/2002
Did I mention I love working in the psychiatry ward? I do. I love my boss, my kids, and just everything about that place. I feel so productive when I leave. Two weeks ago we had a disco for the kids. It was one of my first days of work, and I was so fried. He says, "We're having a D-A-N-C-E tonight." I was so tired, I actually said, "What's that?" I seem to always say the dumbest things when I'm there. I don't know why. I explained to my boss that it was my first day of work and I apologized. I felt so stupid.
Anyway, the dance was fun. Little One was falling asleep on my lap, which sucked because I couldn't dance with the kids. So the kids made brownies to eat after the dance, but the other staff decided that it was too late at night for the kids to eat brownies. So after all the expectation of waiting for the brownies to finish, the kids didn't even get to eat them. I really don't like the staff. I think that they really don't like kids. Poor Little One. He was fighting to keep his eyes open just so he could get a brownie. Damn staff...
The following week, I came back on a Wednesday instead of my usual Thursdays because it was the Fourth of July, and I didn't want to be in the hospital on a holiday. I ended up staying in my room anyway, but its the principle of the matter...you just don't work on national holidays.
Anyway, I met this girl named Shabnam (or a derivation of it). Turns out that she's a biology major at Binghamton too. I did something really stupid. Instead of telling her I'm a transfer studtent, I told her I was there for my frosh year. I have no idea why I did that. No clue. And then the story just kept spiraling. Since I know the dorms and everything (my sister went there for four years, I know the campus well enough) I told her my supposed dorm of last year, etc. I didn't want to tell her I was a transfer. Its somewhat embarrassing to me. I'm one of the few people who doesn't like college. I miss my family, I would rather be at home than at college anyway. My family is nice to me, whereas most other people really aren't. My brother, John, is one of the only males to ever call me pretty. Justin once called me hot, but he was also a little drunk at the time...
Anyway, we're both taking orgo chem next semester. She told me that she has a great tutor all set up and everything. We exchanged e-mail addresses (it was her idea) so we could contact each other and study together during the year. I still have her e-mail address. She hasn't e-mailed me, and I'm more than nervous to e-mail her. I mean, if we end up becoming friends, or even just study partners, she's going to eventually find out I lied. And when she asks why, I don't even have an acceptable answer because I'm not sure why I said it. ::Sigh::
Anyway, I'm upset. MTW and one of the MHL's left the ward. The one thing that I hate about the ward is that you're never told when the kids are leaving. You never get to say good-bye. MTW kind of grew on me; he was such a sweet kid. I'm glad they're out of the ward and everything, but I wish I could've at least said good-bye. Ah well.
The other MHL finally spoke to me. Really sweet, very intelligent kid who I always liked. I like all the kids on the ward, but I'm attached to some more than others. He's thirteen, but looks like he's ten, and just never seemed to fit in there. He's well-liked, but it always seemed to me that such an intelligent, well-groomed cutie just shouldn't be on the ward. It makes my heart break to think he came from a broken home. Who would WANT to hurt him?? Anyway, nost of the kids I met when I first started working here are being placed in foster homes or are going back home soon. I hope they'll be OK.
Anyway...g'night, I have to get up early tomorrow for another fun-filled day at camp.
Phobia of the Day: Dystychiphobia- Fear of accidents
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