Walloons 5/14/2002
OK, I'm slightly calmer now. After I found out my grades, I went into the hallway, which is directly across the hallway from the room I was in. The light was off, so I started to walk away, but my mom called me in. She asked, "What's wrong? I saw you walking towards my room. Did you want to talk to me?" I felt bad, because she was about to go to sleep, so I just said, "No its nothing." My mom knows me better than anyone and kept pressing me until I cried and told her that this semester I have not one, but two C+'s. She was actually very cool about it, which made me feel even worse.
I'm out of contention for medical school. Within a year, I took myself out of contention, and that just really sucks. I worked so damn hard...My mom was awesome. She kept hugging me and telling me not to worry, that I'd find a career that I liked and that paid well. She wasn't mad at all. She kept saying that she was proud of me. I have no idea why she's proud...I have two C's. I sure as hell am not proud. However, there are worse things that could happen. My sister has a friend, who's graduating with my sister this year who's also a pre-med. This girl did pretty well on her MCATS and has had a 3.8 GPA throughout her four years of Binghamton. So far, the only school (out of two dozen) that has accepted her, was a med school in Guatamala. I know the competition to be a doctor is fierce, but that's just crazy. If I had worked that hard, and gotten such high marks for four years and still not have gotten in, I would've shot myself.
It still hurts though. I feel that everything that I try to do, I fail. People in Carnegie Mellon did not like my artwork at all. Since they have one of the top art programs in the country, I figured art was out. I mean, to be an art major means you get to take only art classes. You get a few electives where you can take English, but you get no real education besides art. So I decided to go into science, another field I was interested in. I love biology, but to be a biology major, you have to take chemistry and calculus, along with other useless courses that kill my GPA. So that's out. Now what? I don't want to go into research, because you work your ass off and get paid shit. I don't want to be a nurse for the same reason.
I feel like I had more direction in high school. I got good grades in everything, I knew which college I wanted to go to, and pointed myself in the general direction of science. After a year of college, everything is all screwed up. I still love biology, but what can I do with it if I can't be a doctor. I refuse to take these impossible courses and work my ass off, and get a POS job. Call me greedy, but I would like some compensation for my hard work. I'm transferring schools, so I have to start all over again....ARRRGGHHHH. College is NOT what I thought it would be.
My mom and dad are both pushing for me to go into physical therapy. It's a well-paying job, and I'd still be within the science field. I get to take less math, which is good, but the thought of being a physical therapist doesn't get me excited. I could specialize in pediatric physical therapy, but still. I dunno. I have no clue as to what I'm doing. My parents are being absolutely great, which helps me a lot. More thn I can say. Anyway...I have the rest of May to chill out and bum around before my job and volunteer work starts.
Phobia of the day: Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons
(what is a walloon exactly..?)
Artist
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