Racism and Dating 9/21/2001
I don't know if any of you remember, but I went to George Mason University this summer in Fairfax, Va for a six-day biology program. I made the most racially diverse group of friends I had ever made during those six days. I had a Indian Muslim roommate named Salma, who turned out to be a real sweetheart, despite my original qualms about being a Jew living with a Muslim. I met Ruomu aka "Ro," who was a Chinese girl from Alabama, of all places. Two of my closer friends, Jessie and Tammy were black and from New Jersey and Texas, respectively. My suitmate, Isabelle, was from Spain. My only white friend was a girl named Karen, from Indiana. I loved those girls; we became so close within such a short period of time. What I love about them the most is that they really opened my eyes. My parents are extremely racist. They're good people, even though that may be hard for most to understand. They grew up in the Bronx and in Queens and didn't have the most positive experiences with Asians, Indians, Spanish and black people. They never publicly hurt or said anything derogatory about these people; however, I was always taught that they were "beneath" us, especially black people. A running joke in my family, if you could call it a joke, is that my parents love us unconditionally. However, if any of us married a black, a Hispanic, an Indian, or an Asian, they would disown us.
I have always envied my sister and my parents. My parents are so in love with each other and Becca truly adores Kyle, and is adored in return. Although I don't want to have a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend, I really want to know what its like to be in love. I'm not saying I'm in love now, far from it, but I think I really like a guy. I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure. He always writes something about me on his AOL away messages. It sounds so corny, but its so cute at the same time. He's in the pre-med program, like me, and is a sweetie on top of being good-looking and smart. I haven't known him for that long, and I don't plan on rushing into anything. It doesn't matter anyway, because I can't start anything with him anyway. His last name is Yang. Ironically, the first guy I really like, and who might even like me back, is Asian. None of you have any idea what my parents would do if they knew. I'd be totally and completely ridiculed by my entire family. After they finished laughing, they'd make sure I ended it.
I used to smoke in ninth and tenth grade. My sister found out and told my parents. My parents didn't accuse me outright. They just created a tight leash for me. They threatened to take away my art lessons, my karate lessons; basically anything they could take away from me that they knew was special to me. They knew I couldn't live without art, and I was very much involved with kaarte then. Once I told them I wouldn't smoke (not that I wouldn't smoke ANYMORE because that would incriminate me. I simply said I wouldn't smoke) they kept me so busy I didn't have time to get into trouble. That's what they'll do to me if they find out about who I like. They can take a lot more things now, because they're footing the bill to my college tuition and are planning on giving me a car next year. Not to sound like a spoiled little girl, but I don't want to lose a car over a guy. Or worse, my parents very well may say to me, "Ok Artist. Keep your guy. But if you do, you're paying half tuition." (Or worse, the entire tuition...) Maybe I'm gettig ahead of myself. Maybe I'm just reading too much into this guy. Honestly, as much as I would hate it, it would be better if he didn't like me at all, and it was just in my imagination or something...
Phobia of the Day: Xenophobia- Fear of foreigners
Until next ramble
Artist
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