Chameleon 8/14/2001
I have a very contradicting personality. I'm fairly quiet in most situations, but in others I'm loud and outgoing. I have enormous patience with some things and none with others. I'm beginning to think I have what my sister likes to call a "chameleon" personality. My personality changes, depending on the types of personalities I'm surrounded by. At my Carnegie summer program, I had very outgoing friends and a very, very outgoing roommate. I had much more of a social life in Carnegie than I did with my friends from home, but I noticed I got alot quieter an much less self-confident when I was around these girls. Natalie, Jade, Dee, and Ilene were so outgoing, beautiful, and smart that I always felt like their quiet, dorky sidekick.
At George Mason University this summer I noticed it too. At one point, it was me, my friend Tammy (aka the female Chris Rock) and three of her friends were sitting and waiting for a conference to begin. Four boys came over to our little group and introduced themselves to all of the girls in our group except me. I don't think the boys did it to be mean, I think they just forgot about me. Of course, this didn't make me feel any better, which made me less self-confident, which makes me even quieter.
However, when I'm with quieter, average looking people, I tend to be a little more outgoing. Does this sound weird? Probably...
I have the same problem with boys. Most of the time, I don't talk to them. I just sound like an idiot, so I try to avoid boys. I don't know why, but I've never realy felt comfortable with most of them. I don't really like boys reading my diary, even though they don't even know who I am...Another odd phobia. Anyway, if I have to talk to a guy, more often than not I will talk to a less-attractive, chubbier guy than a good-looking one. In my experience, the more average-looking guys are usually less likely to be rude. I always feel that if I tried to talk to a good-looking guy, he would kind of just brush me off. Although I have been proven wrong about this theory. Twice. But then again it happened on buses, so maybe they were just bored..I dunno, read "Burning My Review Books" entry...it's a long story.
Linda IMed me tonight. She sounds like a really sweet girl; I'm trying not to get my hopes up. She's really smart too, she's in SU's Communications program AND I just found out that she's in the honors program at Syracuse. She's willing to split everything with me 50-50. I can't pay the cable bill now, so she's going to pay it and let me reimburse her when I get up there. She has some early classes and right off the bat promised to try really hard not to wake me. She sounds like a pretty normal chick that I couold definitely get along with. She doesn't sound like the partier type though...She going to Syracuse of all places and hates beer and doesn't sound too keen on the frat party scene. Ah well...no-one's perfect. Wow, this entry got way off topic too. Two in a row, go me.
Phobia of the Day: Bogyphobia- Fear of bogies or the bogeyman
Until later
Artist
p.s.- in case anyone is wondering, the phobias I list every entry have nothing to do with the entry, obviously. I just figured I'd get at least one smile out of you guys :o)
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