I Spoke Too Soon 4/4/2001
I got my rejection from University of Maryland--College Park today, along with my waitlist notification from Rochester. Last year 283 people were placed on the waiting list; 7 enrolled. Being waitlisted is not an option for me. I plan to enroll in Syracuse and just be in debt for the rest of my life. (I have to take out $12 grand a year in loans, plus I want to go to med school). When I wanted to be an artist, I used to joke with my family and say, "It's ok...I've just be a bum living in an IKEA box." That may not be far from the truth now...J/K
Granted, there are much, much worse things that could happen, such as losing a parent, or getting a terminal illness at a young age, like one of my favorite diarists.
Did you know that only 1% of the world's population is college educated? It's true. The fact that I'm going to college at all, and a private university at that, is no great tragedy. I understand all of this, but I can't help feeling dejected anyway. I tried SO hard for the past four years; I've given up parties to stay home and study for a test, I've pulled all-nighters, instead of taking a break my senior year like everyone else, I took all of these advanced classes. In the end, my best wasn't good enough, and that's what hurts so badly.
My mother said that there's going to be an increase in the population in the next few years due to a small baby boom. This baby boom caused the colleges to receive an unusual increase in applications, which of course, raises the standards. Brandeis's acceptance rate went from 50% to 38% this year. Maryland dropped too. It doesn't make me feel much better though. I've heard the phrase "Everything works out in the end" a thousand times, but I just don't believe that.
Everything hurts right now...Honestly, I would rather be rejected from UR than be waitlisted. False hope is one of the worst feelings in the world. At least with Brandeis and Maryland I know what the deal is. UUUGGGHHH! I hate being gloomy!!!
Hmmm..let me think of something cheerful. I have class with MJ tomorrow (Big smile). I'm going to visit my future college on the 23rd for an open house. I heard SU's campus is really pretty, which is good. I have so many forms to fill out though. Maybe I'll get a really nice roommate, like I had at Carnegie Mellon. Natalie, my roommate, was a really cool person; we got along really well. We probably got along the best out of everyone on our floor. She was kind of bossy, and an exhibitionist, but she was an overall cool person. She applied to Cooper Union, I think. Which reminds me, I have to call her...Anyway, I'll survive, I always do. :o)
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." ~Emerson
Phobia of the Day: Frigophobia- Fear of cold (I can't have this phobia if I go to Syracuse)
Until later
Artist
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