True Confessions Time! in A New Beginning

My first true confession is that yes, I worry about money. Joe always has told me that I don’t need to. And we’ve never been in financial trouble, so I guess he’s always been right. But still.....even though I am getting BETTER at not doing this....I, Linda LeBlanc, worry about m-o-n-e-y.
Usually there really isn’t any to worry about, because YES, time for another True Confession here....we most always just live from paycheck to paycheck. I know I can always make our paychecks cover what they need to, and we have excellent credit in case an emergency comes up.
My downfall is when, for whatever reason, we DO find ourselves with SAVINGS. I try to hold onto it. I clench my fists so tightly, and I hold on for dear life, just as if those SAVINGS were my life’s blood. And that makes me....ta-DA!!!!!.....unhappy. And it causes a rift between me and Joe, because he will want to use the money for US in some way or other, and I’ll be clinging desperately to it as it money itself was going to be some kind of salvation.
I come from a family that was extremely poor for many years, and I’m not the only one of my family of birth who was/is a tightwad, though! And I DO do much better than I used to do. I let go easier, because we have a long history together by now, me and Joe. I know he knows what we can afford and what we can’t.
Anyhow.....yesterday our annual property tax bill came in the mail, and it made me feel darn good to just be able to write off a check for the full amount and send it off. And I do not even care how long we hang onto the bit we have left. If I can add something to it, I will, and if we get too busy LIVING AND DOING STUFF to stash away anything, so be it. We’ve decided to not take any trips until spring break, so I just MIGHT be able to save sumthin’!

True confession number two: Sometimes, in person, I could be called “two-faced,” I guess. But that’s because I LIKE 99% of the people I meet (and the few I don’t like, I just plain don’t talk to), and I can nearly always see both sides of everything. So say two of my co-workers are feuding....well dammit, I like them both. I talk to them both. And I can see HER side and I can also see HER side. And if someone wants to talk to me about something, I don’t wave them off like some kind of self-righteous prick, saying something like, “Just leave me out of it.” To my mind, that is rude. Hey, if someone has something to say, I have two ears to listen. One thing I do NOT do is listen to #1 talk about #2, then go running to #2 and tell her what #1 said.
I know some people just thrive on that sort of thing, but personally, I NEVER want to hear what anyone said about me, unless it was nice! But I will listen to both, and agree with the parts I agree with.

True confession number three: I have been quite passive/aggressive in the past. It was because, except with a very few people, I had a fear of confrontation. I don’t know why, even! And don’t even really know “what” I was afraid of. But I am getting MUCH past that now. I rarely fall into that. Ya know who I give almost full credit to, for me improving in this regard? My former co-worker James, who was Cook at my school ‘til he retired two years ago. He was retired army. And being married to a retired military man, I am NOT daunted by them. In fact I am completely comfortable with blasting away at them! Some of them spout off a lot, and I can do that right back. ;o) James and I were good buddies because we loved talking about our years in the military, where-all we’ve been, etc. Plus we liked most of the same things! But he could have a temper! And take it out on whomever was there! Which, if it happened to be me, led to fireworks, because I wasn’t gonna take his guff any more than I ever took Joe’s! (And I’ve never been passive/aggressive to Joe either!) We could have a HORRIBLE fight, but still make up and still be friends and joke about the fight later. So he helped me become able to speak up, speak OUT, and stand up for myself. I am a better person for it, too.

I guess those are the only true confessions I can think of for right now. ;o) None of ‘em were very spicy, were they? I used to do spicy things. Now I just do things!

It’s been an alright day. Joe went to a coven thing, but he is on his way home now. He called to ask if I wanted him to bring home Chinese takeout for supper. That was a big Y-E-S! I’ve been kinda sore-ish and grouchy today, but it sure could’ve been worse! Guinness and I have played; I have typed, and we have packed up more NAL Store stuff. TOMORROW I GET MY INJECTION! Yaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!