Staggerin' around like a Drunken Sailor, I Was! in A New Beginning

Yesterday morning I got my epidural injection. Wow, it was like they were all lined up waiting for me, I was taken care of so quickly! I was just signing in on the sheet at the window when the secretary said, “Come right back!” Then after I did the bit of paperwork and returned to the waiting room, it was only a couple minutes before a nurse opened the door, smiling, and said, “Number Ten?” which was ME!
I got my favorite little bed to wait in, and it seemed like Doc Sutherland was there in no time. We chatted ‘bout how I’ve been doing since the last shot on April 28th, and he was pleased that the stronger dose he gave me in April had lasted longer. He said that he was going to give me an even bit stronger dose this time, and with any luck and me continuing to exercise, etc., as I have been, it might last longer still.
After he left, it seemed like no time before the nurse came to wheel me down to the “procedure room”! Ya know, this might sound silly, but I love my little rides down the corridor on my cot. :o)
Things never go 100% the same. This time I didn’t feel the injection, of course, but I swear I had my eyes open and saw with my peripheral vision when he gave it to me. And I don’t remember being wheeled out of the room or down the hall, but I was awake very quickly. And I felt good. One time I woke up and was very cranky and still felt sore (though the soreness disappeared on the ride home), which wasn’t AT ALL pleasing. Twice, Joe said that I was awake when Doc came by, and talked with him, but I didn’t remember a darn thing about it. The other times, I well remember talking with him.
But this is what I am always going to remember about THIS time....when I got up to go to the restroom, I discovered that I was completely numb from the hips down! OMG! It felt SOOOO bizarre! The nurse and Joe were right there to steady me, but I still staggered to the restroom like a drunk. Gee, I’m glad I managed to actually sit my ass down ON the toilet! The nurse ordered me to leave the door unlocked, in case I fell onto the floor, hit my head and got a concussion! ;o)
I was feelin’ no pain, but it felt WEIRD, riding home (a 45 minute drive) with my ass, legs, and feet sound asleep. I was really happy to finally get here! But then....BUT THEN!!!!....when I went down to use the toilet before crawling into bed, what the hell did I discover but that I had peed myself without either knowing or feeling myself doing so!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I couldn’t even feel myself wiping myself!! Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!
Anyhow, sheesh. So I changed into my jammies and staggered tipsily to bed. Joe (ever so helpful, heh) tucked me in. He had to make a very quick trip to his workplace to give them something, but then he would be STRAIGHT HOME, he said, and he placed the phone next to me on the bed in case I needed to call him. Again I say....”HEH.”
Joe left, and Guinness hopped onto Joe’s side of the bed. I was very comfy and content UNTIL I started to cough. Clearly I wasn’t going to ever stop, so I reached over to pluck a cough drop off of the dresser. And somehow, to my great dismay, I discovered that I had either peed or WAS peeing again! Dear Lord! Where was all the darn mercy?! I careened into the bathroom once again, this time yanking open the small chest of shelves, hoping to the gods that I MIGHT still have a few pads in there from my long-ago period days. GOOD NEWS! I had even better; I had a partial package of those Poise brand pee pads, from when I was on Lisinopril and coughing so much I could hardly leave the house!!!!!
I put one on, staggered back to bed, felt the sheet....it was dry....decided to go get a towel out of the closet to lie on....damn, this all felt like WORK....and finally, FINALLY laid back down in bed. I picked up the phone to call Joe. He needed to know this! This was SERIOUS STUFF!! or at least I felt like it was at the time!! Perhaps he should call the hospital!
HE DID NOT ANSWER HIS PHONE.
Repeat: THE MAN DID NOT ANSWER HIS DAMN PHONE. Grrrrrrrrr!
But he arrived home a few minutes later. What a day.
It wasn’t too long after that, when I realized that feeling was returning to my nether regions at last. Whoopiiiiieeeee!!!!! And no more peeing-without-knowing-it!
The rest of the day was good. :o)
And oh, the night! It was GRAND. I slept better than I had in a couple weeks. IT FELT SO GOOD.
And th....th....that’s all for now, friends!