Saturday Morning in New Diary

The dreaded weekend is here . I hate weekends. I plan on doing a lot of reading over the weekend. I want to finish my book The Faith A History of Christianity I already got another book lined up . It is another history book We The People Volume One Foundations. by Bruce Ackerman This is another long book.

I had a good time with my worker. She wants to take me out to lunch Monday I don’t know about that . I don’t think this is a date thing. She is just a friend. She does not like me staying in my apartment all the time. I was telling her about how my case manager was trying to get me to go to this day treatment program. It is like an adult day care for people with all kinds of mental problems. Said I went there before a long time ago I hate it. A lot of them used to live in the building and they always gave me a hard time about crossdressing. Anyways Kelly said that might be a good idea. I said I don’t want to go.

I remember her telling me that a lot of people give me good suggestions and I don’t take them. I said I was a lost cause. She disagreed with that point. She said when we go to Tudors a lot of people seem to like me. They always say hi. I said I don’t hear them . I have a hard time hearing. It makes conversation with others kind of fruitless.

I think I like being alone. I have my moments where I get so frigging lonesome and depressed. But these usually pass. I have my books to keep me company. I enjoy reading and I get lost in my books. Then I play chess against the computer. That always keeps my mind from thinking about things. I get bored with that after w while then go back to my books. I think I like living like this for the most part. Like I said I have my moments but for the most part I am happy.

After my worker left I spent a lot of time browsing for books at Barnes and Nob le. I was just looking. I can’t afford to buy anymore books. I saw a few I thought might be interesting. I added them to my wish list. I saw a lot of books by one of my favorite authors as a kid Bruce Catton,. I added those to my wish list. I had a good time doing that. I used to love to go to libraries and bookstores and browse. This is the next best thing to actually being there.

I was kind of hungry. I had supper earlier than usual I heated up a frozen pizza. It was ok but I should have left it in the oven for a little bit longer. I watched the news Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Also stayed up late and watched a little bit of America Got Talent. I was getting sleepy and turned it off and went to bed.’‘

Well that is it for today. Always remember the positives. 1 I have a nice apartment. 2 I have money for meds. 3 I have food to eat. 4 I have clothes to wear. 5 I have a worker that comes in and cleans my apartment. 6 I have phone, Internet and cable tv. 7 I have plenty of books to read. 8 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways. 9 I am in fairly good physical health. 10 I have and ssi and social security check I am very lucky and don’t take anything for granted. LIfe is good