July 3'rd, 2017 in Plan B

Sitting here in bed listening to Spotify on my phone ( the Blues ) and chillen with a glass of wine and the house quiet. I did alot of adulting today. In the morning I went and did laundry which actually wasn’t too painful. I have two clothes trees and thankfully I don’t have to run the dryers any longer than I have too. Just hang and let dry. This a.m. I handwashed my scrubs. I have been doing that since I started at the hospital and since I have a huge farm sink why not. The old poreceline kind from the 50’s. Then went to the doctor at 3. My blood test came back excellent. No sugar and low low cholestrol. The only thing I need to do is take B12 once a day that is from being a veg head. He told me to get the soluable kind that way it is easier for my stomach to digest. O.k.
As far as my emotional stability I am o.k. He said it is just a part of the grieving process. I understand that and if truth be told I don’t want to be put on something to “feel normal” there is no normal for me. I just deal with shit and go on. Yes. It sucks that Jerri died. I feel cheated. Sad. Overwhelmed. BUT. If she is out there with Gene and Dad and Lil Russel P than fucking gofor it. Ride your Harley long and hard. Be young again. You deserve it. She was met with alot of people on the other side.
She still checks in with Sharon on her facebook. Pretty much weekly. Ya. She’s out there. I miss her so. She is not alone in ecthat.
Tomorrow is the BIG 4’th of JULY. Our town isn’t doing nothing. Fireworks at 9 and that’s it. Back in the day we had a big street fest with music and all kinds of vendors. Now. We just have the usual farmers market and they pack up at 1 I guess and than nothing until 6. We have a lame ass parade then at 9 fireworks. We have had those in the hood since the first of June along with gun shots so ya no. Chillen at home. This is a good thing tho. This gives me more reason to pursue my goal into moving into the Burg. At least I won’t feel like I am missing out on something because I am not. They want to advertise the shit out of this town and now they are and so we must either adapt or change. I am changing. I would rather live in the Burg and have more to do rather than sit here and bitch about it. The newbies have no idea what this town use to be about and they never will. It’s ok. I got to experience the good and with that the old days. But now it is time to move forward and with that new doors are opening not out of hopelessness but out of growing. The spot I am in is not a forever spot like I thought years ago. It is ok to move forward so as long as it isn’t straight and by no means is this straight. I will write what the “good ol days” had entailed just town high lites. Some are forced to stay either due to home owner ship or whatev. Me. No. Thankfully I am not afraid of change. If you are you better not grow old.