Tomorrow in Plan B

I leave. I have this big Versage bag I bought at a really nice thrift store. It will hold everything for this weekender? I don’t know. Right now I am having wine without the music because today at work was so full of noise it is so nice to be all non void. In the morning it is no nonsense prattle on and on in loud voices. Close to being drunk voices…the drunker you are the louder you become. I share a room with 2 other women. One - when she talks on the phone is in a sing song voice and it is so can’t even put it into words. I just speak mono tone for the most part. Announce myself and say RUN! That usually works. As usual we have hot messes and it’s like WTF.....one got out of his posey bed. You have to be out for 24 hours before you can be D.C’d. Then we have a woman in good gawd she is a hot mess.
Speaking of messes I am heading out in 8 hours via Uber. I have not been back in over 30 years. I am sorry it took my sister to pass in order to do this but here I go. I am overwhelmed and anxious. Got some blood work done on Th. to see where I am sitting at in my body. From there I can go forward. With that I know I need a lil bit of help because I can’t keep going on feeling like I do. It is not functional and it’s not getting me anywhere. I am not a depressed person by nature tho my sisters are. Jerri the one who passed was....all her life more or less. And the other two battle it as well. Me. I classify myself as situation depression. Something has to trigger it and once it’s triggered I need help bringing it back under control. I do things naturally as I can. Like now. No music. Lavender oil. But I need help. I admit it. Not forever. Just to get thru this lil jagged piece of life. Then go forward. I will know more after I see my doctor. Thankfully he is easy on the eyes. He has aged gracefully. He is now married and has a lil girl. He is a good doctor. Blessed.
Now I have to head off to bed. I picked out what I am going to wear for the travel. I know red and purple don’t really match tho they are on the color wheel and most of all I don’t care
When you don’t care it is so freeing. Come to realize that in my old age. Thankfully so.
Good Night.