Every day since November has been consumed with sickness and the inevitable thought that some day soon I am going to lose him and I won’t ever see him again.
I am struggling emotionally, physically and mentally to keep my life together in order to keep the world running smoothly for my loved ones.
I spend my days helping others and being a ‘fixer’ but I forget to take the time to actually look after myself? What do I need? What do I want? What or who am I outside of my family?
I do not know....
Talking is supposed to help? But right now I feel just as helpless as I did before I started opening up. The feeling of shame and embarrassment at sharing my feels or slightly letting go frightens me to no end. What if I start to cry and it just doesn’t stop? I cannot burden the people in my life with my feelings…
When will it all end? When will I have some form of normality back in my life? Will I ever smile again and actually mean it? When when when when when…
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