In Law Frustrations in The Dark Room

Through this experience.....currently and throughout the past 11 months, I feel that my level of frustration with my inlaws has grown. This is primarily my MIL and my SIL. FIL has so many health problems that he isn’t in the meddling mix. He is a victim of his wife anyway. Why he chose to stay with her is beyond me. I try to not feel resentful, but through this ordeal, she has “insinuated” that I am the trigger to my husband’s drinking. Fuck her! Now, this entry is in my “dark room” because I can really let out my shitty feelings here. My SIL has been distant to me for some time. I don’t think she gives a shit to be close to me. I feel I’ve tried, but she may say the same thing. She half ass offers to help with the kids and this is only during times of crisis and only after MIL probably frantically asked her to reach out. Like, fuck that! If you can’t be in my kids life during the happy times, then don’t fucking bother to half ass offer. I realize that she has no obligation to help me with my kids, but reaching out and offering support goes way beyond that. It’s gestures of kindness and consideration that have nothing to do with giving up precious time. ‘
I can’t even begin to go in depth to how pissed I am feeling. I know they are fucking ignorant. My MIL lives like a fucking pig. She could be on an episode of hoarders her house is so gross. My husband refuses to go there to stay and I don’t blame him, but if he would just get a grip on the drinking, then this wouldn’t be a threat!
So, the day they “rescued” him from the motel and brought him home, I called on my way home from work and said “I’m going to stop by and see him.” I felt I needed to see him. He’s my husband and it was a long week regardless of his transgressions. My MIL responds, “Should I ask him first?? I said, “What do you mean? Why would he have a problem with me stopping by?” I then tell her to just ask him and she does and he says yes, that he is okay with my stopping by. My in-laws offer to leave the house and go for a drive so my husband and I can talk. He is lying on the couch quite out of it. The one thing I notice is his chest pounding. I remark and ask him if he wants to go to the doctors. At that point, he said he might want to go. Mind you, he was still very intoxicated. I asked him if he wanted me to take him home. (yes, slap me) He suddenly enthusiastically nodded his head yes, much like a little kid being offered a trip to an amusement park.
I told him that I really feel he needs to be seen and checked out, Detoxing can be scary with the amount of oxygen he had consumed. I helped him out to the van and rather than leaving a note, I called an left a message on the answering machine. I brought him back to our house because I needed to go pick up our children at daycare. I told my teenage daughter that I would need her to watch the kids for awhile. I then received a call from my MIL asking if I had my husband with me because they had arrived back at home and he was gone. I told her that I had left a message on their answering machine and that I was taking him to the ER to be checked out. In response she said “Why”? WTF? Seriously? I proceeded to tell her that his heart was pounding out of his chest and he was feeling shitty and scared. In response to this she says “Don’t take this the wrong way, but he didn’t say any of this before you came over. Is it possible his heart started pounding because you showed up?”
I explained to her that his heart was pounding before I arrived and that it was due to the amount of alcohol he consumed and he needed to be checked out.
I then began to let her words fester. How dare she fucking insinuate that I am causing my husband stress to this level? I would say the exact opposite is occurring. I am the one undergoing significant stress and inconvenience. I am the one who has just had a bunch of shit added to my life on top of the shit I already have to deal with. I am so sick of people. I am suddenly feeling that I need serious boundaries from these people. I mean serious ones!

Last updated June 18, 2017