Friiiiiiiiiday. in Plan B

Normally I am sitting here listening to music on my phone and chillen with a glass of wine. I have the wine but the music is getting on my nerves. At work I play ol school RNB and when I get here it’s like NIN ect. But today was so noisy that I just can’t handle the usual. Might try some bowls.Tibetan Singing Bowls…there. Today was ruff. One patient scratched the shit out of a tech she had to go and get it checked out. Then we have a 24 year old with a helmet. A brain flap. Reason. Drugs. Paralyzed on the left or right side. I forget. Seen somebody have a stroke. Called and wella. 100%. Well. Not exactly 100% but you know.
Now I am listening to 432Hz Tibetan Bowls and Rainforest Sounds. Better. Less movement in the waves. Must listen to this while I do yoga, stretching, getting ma shit together.
Now. Life. Tis Friday. I am starting to do lil things that I am trying to cover up so not to make noticeable. I don’t want my work affected but I did notice a lil freeze today. When I tried to call a floor. I completely forgot the number. O.M.G. W.T.F.? These freezes happen at the most wrong times. Not scared. Just more cautious. I read a book a long time ago called - Unbroken. It changed my life. Really. And when ever I found myself in a rough patch I always think…What would Louie Zambinie do? Look at all the shit he went thru? So I will start focusing on what I can do in the instant I freeze. The problem is. I don’t know when it’s going to hit. Like walking downs stares at the shop. Scares the fuck outta me. Be more cautious.
I miss Jerri so much. I miss calling her. I thought we would grow old together. Go to Ohio and visit with her ect. I hope I get to see her house. Steph has tight reins on the house situation. She won’t let Sharon or myself stay there. It’s ok. She has power and she is going to use it. The thing is we were SISTERS before Aunts. But if truth be told and Gawd knows I am going to tell it here ~ Steph is a pain in the ass. Fake as a $2 bill. Botox, fake boobs and in debt up to her eyes. She met her husband while stripping at a club. She has 2 boys. But hey. She hurt my sister by being “embarrassed” my her. That, I never quite got over. I can blow off shit pretty easy but this. Not so much. When Jerri watched her kids FOR FREE so her and hubby can go out and then she pulled that shit. We never spoke since. We haven’t spoken now and it’s ok by me. I just don’t want to stay at her house when we go up there. I know that sounds terrible even tho she extended the invite. It’s fake like her boobs. We have time to figure things out between now and then. Mayby stay at cousin Bobby’s house. Might as well ask. Then go from there. All I know is this shit sucks. I know death is not a bad thing. I died twice. It is the living that has to live with the person who died and has to continue on without them. It’s like a WTF kind of thing.
I talk out loud at home to my parents and now Jerri. I tell them goodnight and I spoke to Jerri and let her know that I miss her and that to hug Gene and Mom and Dad for me. You never go to the other side by yourself. Ever. There is always people there to bring you over. So that in itself comforts me. Gives me peace. Just for a lil while for the selfish me takes over and wants my sister back. But. Everything happens for a purpose. Everything.
I have gone on forever. The landlord is going to be here tomorrow to fix the a.c. in the bedroom. This time I hounded her. Now that rains have stopped. It is heating up and I don’t want the electric bill adding up. I pay rent on time....