Where Is Your Heart? in Just Moments

~Where is your heart? This is a question that I have been contemplating lately. My heart has been all over the place. So there is E. We hung out last night and I actually believe that he wanted to be with me… But just for the night. I have given him my heart so many times. I know that I need to stop but I just can’t. This is the same thing that happened to me with G. I gave him my heart over and over again. I’m just so pathetic. This is a pattern in my life. I want to stop it and I need to but it feels so nice to be wanted in those moments. When E is with me, all the bad things fall away. They have for the past 11 years. I think that is one of the reasons why I have always gone back to him. He knows all this stuff about me and I trust him and feel comfortable around him. I have a hard time getting close to people because of G and what he did to me, but E was there before G. I just get so hurt. Every time I see him. I mean its not until after he’s gone, which is why I always go through with it because in the moment it feels so right that I crave that. And I can’t get past that. And I don’t know how. It’s definitely something I’m going to work on now that I have identified that. It’s going to be a long difficult road. I just hope that I can get past this before it takes over me and crushes what’s left of my heart.

~So where is your heart? Is it as lost and confused as mine? Is it so full of love that it’s practically bursting? I hope that wherever you are, you’re able to deal with it. I’m having a hard time and I would hate for you to have a hard time too.

<3