Makes sense in Jessica and Me

I haven’t wanted to write an updates lately because they would all be about Jess and me fighting. I told her a while back that I thought if things were going to get better between us, we would have to take a break from Kevin. She said no. She asked why she would leave the good part of her relationship to be with the bad part of her relationship, and I had no good answer for that.

I know that I’m the bad part, and it’s been that way for a while now. After a lot of back and forth and crying and fighting, interspersed with I love you’s and promises that things will get better, we went to dinner last night and had one of the most civil conversations we’ve had in a long time. I felt good about us finally. I felt like I was hanging out with my future wife and we were really getting along.

I told her this, and she agreed. We touched each other. We kissed. We each said that we love each other. Then she added something else. She took of the engagement ring she’d been wearing even through all our fighting and said she didn’t want to wear it anymore.

My tears started. She said she thought we should agree that the engagement was officially off. She added she she wasn’t breaking up with me, in fact she made it clear that she very much still wanted to be my girlfriend. But she said it seemed silly to pretend we were engaged when we’re actually barely getting along.

I said, “I still want to marry you.”

There was a long pause. I wasn’t sure she would respond at all. Then she said, “I want that too. But let’s work on being friends and lovers first, and then talk later about marriage once we have that part figured out.”

I guess it makes sense. I felt reassured that she wasn’t leaving me.

We went home and had a threesome with Kevin. I was sad it wasn’t just the two of us. But we haven’t had sex just the two of us in a long time.