Welts... in Fresh Start...

I had started this entry and then somehow dozed off and hit the back button and fucked it up… let’s see if I can remember where I was.

JM is just an issue. Despite me clearly saying that this was not us getting back together, he’s still treating it that way and told me he loved me last weekend. Just no. We’ve been hanging out for maybe 3 weeks, don’t pull that bullshit. Like he literally said “Tell me what you want me to be.” I can’t answer that. This happened at the end of last weekend. We didn’t see each other all week and he hadn’t tried to make plans with me. I didn’t intend to initiate plans but decided to be nice. He had a wedding to attend on Saturday at 530. I asked him if he wanted to come over afterwards. He said if it’s not too late, but then followed it up with but if not do you want to get lunch tomorrow. For starters, it’s not like he had anywhere to be the next morning so the too late thing seems like a bullshit excuse and no I don’t want to get lunch on Sunday. I had tentative plans with my sister. So later at like midnight he calls me to say he’s just getting home blah blah blah and acts like everything is fine. And that’s when he tried to tell me he loved me. I just said bye and hung up. Then a little bit later I texted saying not cool. So the next day he asks me what’s not cool. Really dumbass? So yeah… then he asked me about going to dinner or something on Monday. I agreed and we ended up deciding to just stay in and cook on Monday. But then I left work earlier than normal and started cleaning at 430. He had told me he should be out of work by 5 and he’d stop by the store and head my way. By the time 630 hit and I still hadn’t heard from him I was a bit pissed. Like I was at the point where I had decided if I hadn’t heard from him by 7 I was going to just go out and do whatever instead. He finally texted at like 645 saying he should be there in 20. So he made fajitas and we just hung out a bit. We did have sex before he left. And now I figure he’ll be more obsessed. We had sex on the couch and for once he actually got off during sex. So yeah.... haven’t really talked to him much since.

Tuesday, me and K went to the Toddrick Hall show. It was a lot of fun. We met up with a gay couple I know and spent the whole night together.

I don’t think I really did anything Wednesday. I was mad at M that day. We were joking around and picking at each other and then he decided to playfully hit me with his belt. Which is fine until you leave a mark and I tell you to stop and you don’t and end up leaving another mark. Of course he doesn’t get why I was mad. Go figure.

Tonight I’m supposed to go out to a hookah bar. Haven’t been in a while. K is coming after she gets out of work at 10. My ex hubby is supposed to come after he gets out of work and one of the gay guys is supposed to come too. I invited F and he seemed interested, but apparently M invited him out so of course I’m not nearly as fun.

V is supposed to come over this afternoon before I go out. I have talked to V previously about F’s relationship issues. V brought up that if I were to hook up with F it would just entirely fuck him up (talking about F). Basically he thinks that F would become smitten and obsessed with me. Of course he thinks F has a thing for me which I disagree with, but then again he did seem to be looking at me weird wen I was stretching earlier. Boys are weird though, especially when they haven’t gotten laid in a while.

Other than that.... I dunno. I’m gonna try to accomplish some stuff this weekend. One of my goats is preggo. I need to finish painting. I’m considering buying a new toilet for my upstairs bathroom. Maybe a new countertop and faucet as well. Who knows? I think I’m going to let F do the inviting next time. I’m just done chasing people. Fuck it, if you want to see me, you’ll make it happen.

Last updated April 28, 2017