4/20 in --

I’m going to write about how proud of myself I am!

I had a presentation yesterday that I’ve been dreading for weeks. I absolutely despise presentations. For someone with probable ADHD and high anxiety levels (especially in social contexts), presentations are a nightmare. I obsess over them until they’re here, constantly checking my notes to make sure I remember everything, rehearsing what I will say, etc. I’m usually shaky and my body feels hot. But yesterday was different.
I breathed, calmed my body down, and reminded myself that I know what I’m talking about, I’ve prepared for weeks. And my brain felt a little less jumbled yesterday, which made me feel more confident.
When I finally did my presentation, one of my classmates mentioned she was glad I didn’t go first because it would have set the bar high (she was being silly) because I added an interactive component to my presentation, which is important to me. I also made jokes and I wasn’t nervous. I flew through my presentation smoothly. IT WAS SO AMAZING. I can’t believe I did that! I’ve never had a presentation go well like that. Thanks, brain!

Anyway, I just needed to document how good it feels to have a brain that’s functioning, at least for one day.

I’m also networking okay. I am applying for a summer GRA position in my department, and I asked my professor for a letter of recommendation. She said she was happy to write me one, so that’s a step forward for the application process. I’m hoping I get this and I’m also hoping that a fall/spring GRA position will open up that I can take. With university budget cuts, it may not be likely… but I’m still hoping. It’s not a great time to be a graduate student if you’re hoping to work for your university, unfortunately. I would just really love that tuition reimbursement, man. And the experience.

Immersing myself in academia here like a damn pro.

I’m currently working for student disability services as an office assistant, and it doesn’t pay much. My boss said that I was a shoe-in for the graduate assistant position next fall.... but last week I found out the university is cutting all GA positions next year in student affairs. My boss said that I can still do GA work, while also doing my current job, but I won’t get paid more. And I won’t get any tuition reimbursement. Needless to say, I’m looking for another job.

My focus is to get experience in research, since that’s where my ultimate career goals lie. I’m currently teaching myself Javascript. I also want to learn Python and then SQL. There are some good tutorials on codeacademy.com that I’ve been working through. It’s taken the place of TV time at night. I also started running after work before I pick up my kids from daycare instead of relaxing. I go to bed earlier instead.

This week we have my partner’s girls all week and they’re great kids. I don’t think I ever talk about them, but it’s been crazy (but really nice) to have all four kids at the same time (we have them every other week, all week). They play well together, and when they don’t, I make sure to give them strategies for working things out. It’s going way better than I thought it would. It’s fun to see how all of their different personalities work together, and Cannon has more opportunities for learning how to interact with different people.

Life’s pretty good.

Last updated April 20, 2017