Does Heart Mean More? in The First Life

Greeted with silence, and it still haunts me…weeks later.

I can’t remember to take my vitamins, but my brain takes the time to think about you every day.
I am 1,467 days older....
I always said time would be kind, that the inevitable could not be broken. Lines and miles and months could not end this…for me.

I’m pacing in circles now. Biting my lip until it bleeds. The sharp pain, warm, copper taste. Mindlessly I go around, thinking of what I could say, how I could say it.

If heart really means more, then what are you doing?
If heart meant more, you wouldn’t have left me at a dead end.
No matter where you’ve been, or what you’ve said, my door has been open.
You’re always too afraid to let the cold air in.

I’ve spent 1,467 days, and what my heart tells me, has not changed.
In 26 days I’ll be uprooted again, in a new town, struggling to find myself, and not think of you.