Angry in 2017
Revised: 04/12/2017 6:05 p.m.
- Feb. 14, 2017, midnight
- |
- Public
Happy Valentines Day.
It feels like only moments ago I was daydreaming about this silly Hallmark holiday with a tiny baby girl to dress up again. I purposely shied away from ‘girly’ with our first baby (a girl), but with Baby I was all about embracing the pink and frilly. I loved spending time online browsing for cutesy little coordinating/matching sister outfits. Ugh. And I was so excited for my boy to get to be a big brother.
“He IS a big brother.” My own mama said matter-of-factly when I cried over folding his big brother shirt.
Yes. He is. But its totally not the same as it would have been in practice.
He SHOULD be a big brother. Dammit.
And that wont happen without science. And Im totally not ready to make that call only 23 days out from losing our girl. Husband might never make that call.
Grief, tonight, has an angry edge.
I want my baby. Here with me.
Last updated April 12, 2017
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