Lonely... in Fresh Start...

I’m not sure what my problem is. I feel extremely lonely. I hate being home alone. I’m entirely unmotivated. I want to talk to someone, but at the same time, I feel like a complete bother.

I think it’s made worse because supposedly 3 guys are interested in at least sex with me, but I haven’t heard from anyone. And it makes me wonder what is so wrong with me that they only seem interested in sex anyways.

K is my only girl friend really. And she works 2nd shift so I only see her maybe once a week.

I’m just feeling miserable and sorry for myself. Laying in bed crying for probably no reason. I let M read my last entry. He didn’t say anything. I felt like I maybe weirded him out. So maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe I need to accept that I feel some connection that he just doesn’t. Maybe I need to go away and just disappear for a while. Like I just want to feel special to someone. I want to stop feeling so lonely. I want to feel like I can breathe. I want to be touched by someone who actually wants me. Is that so much to ask? And I mean wants me, not just wants sex or wants to see me naked, wants all of me including my crazy.

I don’t think there’s anyone out there. I think I should give up on just everything.

None of the guys in my life currently are for me. Maybe I just need to stop seeing everyone.