Excerpt from a post-inaugural interview by O’R eilly
O’R EILLY: You know what was fascinating?
To watch you at the In auguration with Bar ack Oba ma.
You guys seemed to get along, alright. Would that be accurate?
Mr. Maybelline:
(The “Alpha male” who wears more and cheaper make-up than me)
It’s a very strange phenomenon.
We get along, I don’t know if he’ll admit this, but he likes me.
I like him –
O’R EILLY: How do you know he does?
Mr. Maybelline:
Because I can feel it.
That’s what I do in life, it’s called – like, I understand.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m writing this entry just because I’m feeling petty and annoyed
And I, unlike people with very simplistic minds, can’t express complex ideas
in 140 characters or fewer.
In yet another instance of revisionistic rhetoric,
the ill-esteemed pre-sident is reversing himself yet again.
The list of those who pick on this poor man is incredibly long and growing by the tweet.
Today it’s Ob-ama who’s being mean and unfair to our hapless hero.
“Ob-ama,” *
twitter-screams the Orange ChildMan,
“Ob-ama had me wiretapped during the campaign!”*
(Not a direct quote, but you get the picture.)
This outburst comes, oddly coincidentally, just after alt-right conspiracy theory media began broadcasting the claim, as usual without any supporting facts.
But facts have never been the issue, not with this guy.
(He don’t need no stinking facts!)
But Donnie, Donnie, Donnie-boy,
You said yourself, just a few weeks back, that Ob-ama likes you.
He, you boasted (characteristically),
likes you even if he won’t admit it.
And you’re such a really, really smart guy,
You, like, understand.
How could it be that this man who likes you so much
(and we absolutely must take your word on that
because you said you’re such a great judge of character)
how could it be he would do such a thing?
To the unprecedented pre-sident, I have one plea (today at least) -
Either be the really brilliant person
with the really best judgment that you claim to be
Or be the pathetic paranoid victim that your claims show you to be.
Make a choice of which you want to be and stick to it.
It’s what credible adults do.
Constantly contradicting yourself just points out your extreme lack of character
and nobody needs any more evidence of that.
Oh and -
We’re all over the tantrums.
You need to get a new shtick.
Tantrums in a five year old are annoying.
Tantrums in a seventy year old are just sad.
.
.
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