Timekiller in surveys and such

via
Fawkes Gal

Be honest; name of the last person to text you?
Joey

This time last year what was your relationship status?
Disinterested

What is the 15th text message in your inbox?
Cool

How many radio stations do you listen to?
NPR

When was the last time you were in a car with someone besides family?
I dunno

What’s your favorite show or shows?
Humans

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Not yet

What are your plans for the weekend?
Sleep

What do you currently hear right now?
Talking coworker

What were you doing Friday night?
Working

What would your name be with the first three letters?
Amb

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Nah.

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
No.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Yes

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
This chair

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Batman

What’s the last compliment you received? “Nice watch”

Your best friend needs you at 3 am, do you go help them?
If I’m not at work

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
Eons ago

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
I guess

Are you on a desktop or laptop?
I’m too fat to be a laptop

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Probably

Who was the last female you talked to?
Coworker

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single?
I don’t care

What does your last text message say?
I got sick again

Is there someone who has made a difference in your life?
All the people

Does the last person who texted you ever make you smile?
Joey’s pretty funny

Where do you want to live when you are older?
On a boat

Where is the shirt you’re wearing from?
Kohl’s or Burlington

Would you rather tell somebody straight up, or wait?
Waiting sucks

Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail?
No

Would you eat a cockroach for your last ex if they asked you?
Fuck that shit

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
This one here, right now

When’s the last time you fell asleep watching a movie?
yesterday

How many cell phones have you had in your life?
over 9000

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
I went to sleep with my eyes closed

Have you had sex today?
Nope

What should you be doing right now?
Working.

What day of the week Is it?
Tuesday.

What does that mean you have to do?
Work

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Working

Where do you work?
At work.

What was the last book you read?
Pretty When She Kills

Are you pro-choice?
Yeah

Are you a vegetarian?
No. I like eating dead animals

What is your favorite kind of salad dressing?
viniagrettes

How old were you in 2013?
fucking math … 31

When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
rich

Have you ever been in someone’s wedding?
no

Would you rather visit the Taj Mahal or the Eiffel Tower?
both

Do you live in Florida, Nebraska, or Virginia?
No

Have you ever been to South America?
no

Did your last kiss mean anything to you?
no

If your house was on fire, what 3 things would you try and save?
the people

What does your status say right now?
Dunno

Have you ever ridden on a subway?
yeah

Are your toenails painted at the moment?
No.

Open the nearest book, turn to page 8 and type the first sentence:
This book is a work of fiction

Have you showered yet today?
no

What were you doing at 11 AM this morning?
Watching youtube

What do you plan to be doing in 2 hours?
very little

What is your middle name?
n

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?
Pen

Do you keep a journal?
a couple

Are you still friends with your best friend from kindergarten?
hell no

What did you do on your last birthday?
roadtrip

What brand is the deodorant you use?
homemade

What was the last movie you watched?
Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Are you ticklish?
no

Are you shy?
sometimes

Are you hot-tempered?
no

Was your mom over 30 when she had you?
no

Have you ever won more than $100 dollars playing the lottery?
not even $3

Have you ever played strip poker?
Nope

What is your most memorable Halloween costume?
The Doctor from Doctor Who. It was my lazy go to costume

When was the last time you ate popcorn?
White cheddar popcorn last week

What color is the floor of the room you are in?
Some jank multicolor office carpet

Who is your 4th phone contact and how do you know them?
I’m too lazy to grab my phone again

Have you ever lived in a dorm?
Freshman and sophomore year of college

Do you live in an apartment?
Nope

Are any of your friends pregnant?
At least one

Do you have any nieces or nephews?
Two nephews and 75% niece

Who do you trust with your secrets?
Secrets?

How short would you be willing to cut your hair?
off

Do you wish on shooting stars?
no

If someone made a movie about your life, who would star as you?
Gabby Sidibe if she were taller

Is your birthday in winter?
almost

What’s the story behind your most noticeable scar?
birth

Is your car newer than a 2010?
nope

Did you graduate high school within the last 2 years?
no

Is there anything buried in your closet you wouldn’t want anyone to find?
no

What was the last song you listened to?
one in a buzzfeed video. First buzzfeed video i’d seen in ages

Where do you see yourself in the next 3 years?
3 years in the future

What kind of computer do you have?
a few different ones

Do you like sushi?
yes

Name the last thing you ate.
habanero mango salsa chicken

When is the last time you went out to eat?
today to get the chicken

Where did you go?
where they sell the chicken

Do you like mushrooms on your pizza?
sure

How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
no

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
no. nor during the day either

What is one thing you really want right now?
a few days off

Are you 100% sure of anything right now?
that I and everyone else in the world truly know nothing

Do you use a bar of soap or body wash?
bar

What’s one thing you almost always have to do before you go to bed?
let the cat in

Without looking can you say what color the sheets are on your bed?
grey

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
no no no no no no no no no (you have to sing it in your head)

Do you like the way you look?
it’s overrated. I have to see it everyday

How’s your hair right now?
under a hat

Last time you were outside?
last night when I got in the car

Do you ever scream just to make yourself feel better?
yes

Why do you think people like you?
I don’t know. They must be crazy

Can you keep a secret?
Yes.

Have you ever lied to a friend?
Yes. I can’t believe they bought it.

What would you do if you got pregnant right now?
Prosecute someone

Have you dated more than 6 people?
Not that I know of.

Did things end badly with your last ex?
um… whatever

Do you know how to play Gin?
I have forgotten

What is your favorite board game of all time?
Stratego

What is one thing people do on a day to day basis that drives you nuts?
Ask obvious questions

Did you enjoy kindergarten?
I don’t remember it

What do you need from the store?
Vodka