Moving on in Life

I’ve had enough. People are starting to get wrong ideas of us. Is it so wrong to be close to a boy like you are best friends with a girl? Well yeah I tried my best to limit myself because he has a girlfriend, but he’s the one who treats me like idk to someone’s eyes. It was on Monday when the MMN Unit went to have lunch and we surveyed for blazers on Jaya Hypermart. I couldn’t slip my arm over the left sleeve then I was startled when he held the sleeve for me to slip my arm in. Then I tried another blazer, but he said the shoulder sponge wasn’t right and reached out to adjust it. LOL I was clearly not wanting him to adjust it for me so bad I adjusted it myself hurriedly. Hmmm I think all of this is because I never had a guy as a best friend.

But srsly. If it was my first time seeing a boy and a girl do that, I would instinctively think they are a couple.

Hmmm no I wouldn’t say we’re “best friends”. Well yeah I kept talking of things I never told anyone to him lel. I’m just comfortable around him. That’s all. So what is a “best friend”?

Oh so yesterday, I asked my friend from another country (so that I remain anonymous) to text my crush that I have a crush on him (and still). The most shocking part was the unexpected reply. Even the guy I mentioned above said he wouldn’t reply if some girl sent that. He said he was sorry for breaking my heart and said that I deserve someone better than him. This made my heart ache so much. He’s that someone better. Tbh, I think for the first time in my whole life, I really fell in love. It’s so hard to let him go just like that, but what can I do? He even asked for my name cuz he said it’s rude to not know. Would it make a difference if I told him my name? We would just end up being awkward with each other when we meet. I also told him that I’m someone close around him and asked him to understand and respect my decision. He haven’t replied since....

Oh well, I guess I just need to move on then… I wanted to cry the minute he replied. It was just so heart wrenching. After all this, he’s still being gentleman. It made me fall for him even more. I don’t blame him. It’s not his fault. It’s mine. It’s mine…