Still Catching Up... in Book of M...

I have no idea where to begin. Hmmmm…

● I got a new tattoo on the 16th. It’s mostly healed up now but still occasionally itchy. It’s on my right side. Hurt like a motherfucker. It’s a deathly hallows symbol with “after all this time” written above and “always” below. I really like it, even if I am more on the chubby side.

● I’ve done really good about not biting my nails recently. M and B were kinda getting on me about it so I guess so far so good.

● My car had issues like a week and a half ago. Ended up being this stupid sensor that cost $130 + tax and that was just for the part. Thankfully my dad replaced it. It’s also a good thing I have my truck, so I didn’t have to borrow a vehicle or rely on rides much. V did give me a ride home last Wednesday because that’s when it really started acting up and I didn’t think I’d make it home so I left my car at work. Then on Wednesday this week, my dad came to pick me up in the morning before work and I just ran him home at lunch. And yes we work together, but at different locations across the street from each other.

● Last weekend I went to petsmart with my sister to donate a bunch of towels I had bought on Black Friday to a rescue group I really like. Then I ended up taking a dog home to foster. He’s a jack russell named Jack (very inventive previous owners). I usually call him Jack Jack. He’s older… like bare minimum 8. He’s super chill. About the only issue I’ve had with him is wanting to pee where my other dog has already peed. Of course it’s the dogoddamn that likes to mark in the house because he’s a jerk. But he’s gotten a lot better about that. The only other issue is that my pig Daisy has tried to attack him a few times. She has never acted like this with any animal. And she goes over to smell his pee and doesn’t like the way he smells. I’m wondering if maybe he doesn’t have like a blood sugar or kidney issue that we don’t know about. He was an owner surrender I guess like 3 weeks ago now along with another dog. Anyways, he’s sweet and chill, but I’m not sure he fits in with my clan. Either way he has a place to chill. I think he’d be absolutely fantastic for an older person wanting a companion.

● Overall, my house has stayed pretty clean lately. I even painted the upstairs bathroom and I’m hoping to finally tackle an upstairs bedroom this weekend. I have a million things I want to do around the house.

● Things with V are just weird. Like he’s just constantly sending me mixed signals. Like so far we’ve only hung out at my house and he hasn’t asked me on a date, yet the other day via text he made some remarks that came off pretty possessive. Like I told him that my best friend K said she was going to harass him at a work thing and he’s all “as long as she keeps her hands to herself I’m spoken for.” When the hell did you get spoken for? Then I jokingly said that neither one of us are good at that and he said “I better be the only one for you” and then I said “I’m just a touchy feely huggy person.” And he said “As long as you’re touchy feely huggy with just me.” I just don’t get it. Quite frankly it pissed me off. I’m not the kind of girl that guys lay claim to, and I don’t want to be. I just generally don’t like jealous people. I’m giving him a small pass this time, but anymore comments like that and it’s bye bye V.

● M is on day shift now and I just don’t feel like we really talk much anymore. And honestly what does it matter. Everything is always a joke lately. And I’m just a crazy person. And it’s like he pushed me to hook up with H… on more than one occasion and gave H my number, but then turns around and says H shouldn’t be or is stupid to be cheating on his wife. You like fucking facilitated that shit. His gf still doesn’t have a job… and babysitting H’s kid like 3 days a week doesn’t count. So much for that ultimatum. So much for making changes if you’re not happy.

● Yesterday I cried on the way home. I’m chalking it up to I should be starting my period in a couple days. My face is broken out and I’m just emotionally drained. Stupid hormones. And I haven’t slept much all week. I just feel ugly and bloated and blah.

This is enough… but final thought from this week.

I’ve decided I’m just too much for M. Too many animals. Too responsible. Too touchy feely. Too fat. Too decisive. Too goal oriented. Too smart. Too stupid. Too old. Too I dunno. Probably too nice.

So on with my goals. Maybe next entry I’ll list those.