I Hate Parties - 8/12/2007 in 2005 - 2007: High School

I have decided that I am having people over. I have decided to suck it up and call them on the phone. I am freaking out a little because I hate the phone. I am also freaking out a little because parties make me nervous, and I don't know who to invite or what to do with them once they get here. Molly and Dave are coming I guess, and Julian said he could, and hope to hell Bonnie will be back from Finland. But I should also probably invite Laura and Speedy maybe? But Speedy's away, I think, so maybe Jack, so Laura won't be the only still-a-highschooler? And like... Eric? Maybe? I don't fucking know. I hate this.

Then I start to think that if the thought of interacting with these people terrifies me so much maybe I shouldn't have them over at all. I mean, every one of my recent social experiences has made me incredibly uncomfortable. But yesterday as I left the Harry Potter party, Molly gave me a serious, wide-eyed look and said, "Will we see you before Thursday?" and I said, "Yes." I said that, so there has to be another last time. I said that over Valerie's shoulder, because she was in the process of giving me a big hug.

Tom gave me a big hug too, when he left. When he did this, some sort of realization broke over me that made me return it earnestly. Tom left today. That was my last goodbye with Tom. I've known Tom since sixth grade. I didn't see him too often this year, but there is still some sort of closeness between us that I often forget about. I've been through a lot with Tom. And I'll be lucky if I see him even a few more times.

No, I guess that's a lie. I always forget that I'll be coming back in the summer. I mean, Valerie sees us all fairly often. But... It won't be the same. We'll all be parts of different universes.

Anyway, the party was alright. There were nine of us: Molly, Dave, Tom, Tom's little sister, Molly's older sister, a family friend I don't really know, Valerie, Nick the shy gay clarinetist, and me. It was kind of an odd assortment. The best costume by far was Dave's: he dressed as a wizard dressing as a muggle, unsuccessfully. He said he was really glad he didn't get pulled over. Valerie was Cho Chang, which was surprisingly not lame. Molly's sister and the family friend were both Trelawny, and addressed each other as "Trelawny" all night in silly voices. We played fishbowl and laughed and listened to a Draco and the Malfoys album I bought.

I suppose I should call people. I'm putting it off with the excuse that I don't know if the day is good for Bonnie yet.

Four days.

Edit: It was painful, but people are invited. I decided not to deal with Jack and Laura and Speedy. I left a pretty awkward but less-awkward-than-usual message on Julian's answering machine and told Bonnie on facebook to come if she's back from Finland by then. Molly and Dave and Eric are definite. There. Done.