I Hate Feminism... I Think. - 8/5/2007 in 2005 - 2007: High School

My life has been very depressingly uninteresting lately. I am still up to my neck in Harry Potter and can't pull myself out. I have not left the house too much. Since I can't really write about what I have been doing, I will write about something I have been thinking.

I recently heard that there are some people who accuse Harry Potter of being sexist (everything is somehow related to Harry Potter) so I decided to look them up and read their arguments. (Here are the articles that I found: 1. 2.) At first, I could kind of see their point. Then I said, "wait, no," and started coming up with counterexamples.* Then I just got mad at these people for insulting Harry Potter and said "I hate feminism." Then I started trying to figure out whether that is really true. The problem is, most of how I feel about gender is exactly that - a feeling. Or rather, a lot of feelings, all of which contradict each other. I am now going to try to express all of the seperate feelings kicking around in my head about what my gender means and what I should be doing about it.

Feeling 1: Things were horrible and unfair before the women's rights movement. It must have sucked to be treated as property and not to be able to get a good education or a good job. Women are on the whole just as intelligent as men and deserve the same rights.

Feeling 2: I have a biological desire to find some man to be submissive to. I am attracted to men who are more powerful than I am, and on a very basic level I would love to fall in love with someone brilliant, and then just worship and support him.

Feeling 3: It is shameful for a woman to want to submit to a man, especially if she has the potential to be powerful herself. If I don't go into some impressive, traditionally masculine career, I am a weak conformist. Imagine what my parents would say if I decided to do something like be a stay-at-home mom.

Feeling 4: I hate the idea that women have to be powerful, and that there must be an equal number of males and females in everything. If you really want to eliminate gender roles, everyone should be able to do anything they want without worrying about what is or is not expected of them because of their genitalia.

Feeling 5: There is more to gender than sex, and gender roles serve a purpose. Maybe gender roles are okay, since they help society function and work pretty well for a lot of people. Besides that, things would be pretty boring without them.

Feeling 6: Fuck womankind, all I need to worry about is myself. I will just do whatever I want without worrying about gender roles, and if other women are too scared to do that, all the better for me. I like being part of a group made up of mostly males. It shows that I am different and stronger than the rest of my sex.

Feeling 7: ...But I bet that being female has a lot to do with why I am so intimidated by people like Noah and Jay Goldman and Captain Mojo.

Feeling 8: I want to be pretty.

Feeling 9: It is not possible to be powerful in a sexy outfit, and everyone who pretends that it is is obnoxious. The (surprisingly widely accepted) idea that a woman can dress however she wants to without deserving to be treated like a sexual object doesn't make any sense at all.

Feeling 10: Why am I worrying about this so much? Does it really matter?

I tried researching feminism, but it is one of those ideologies that barely has a definition at all. There are so many kinds of feminism and so many kinds of anti-feminism that I got really confused and had to lie down for a while.

In conclusion, any male reading this should be grateful that he does not have to worry about this shit. Thinking about this has also made me grateful that I am white, and at least do not have to worry about ridiculous contradictory expectations placed on me as a member of a minority.

That is all.