Stalkin' - 7/16/2007 in 2005 - 2007: High School

I have been bored recently. I have not been able to think of interesting things to do. I have been spending too much time on the internet. The internet only has so much to offer. It is not an endless source of entertainment. It is also not the same as people.

There really isn't much to write about, since I haven't been doing much or thinking much. I have been working so often that I have developed this feeling that I must do something important with my days off. On one of them, I went to the mall. I forgot that I don't like the mall though. The mall makes me all jumpy and sunk into myself. I feel really disoriented and tired and I end up just needing to go home. Today I walked downtown. The only place I could think of to eat lunch was Brueggers though, and that's always kind of weird. Then I couldn't think of anything to do besides wander around. I sat in the park for a while not doing anything. Then I went to the library, but Julian wasn't there and I didn't need any books. Craig and Schultz were both working, and I passed Craig like three times, and the third time he said, "Aah, you're stalking me!" which, although he does not realize it, was a funny thing for him to say.

After dinner I borrowed the car to go get an icecream and a movie. And while I was down there, I drove by Julian's house. Yup. I actually did it. I can't believe I actually did it. The whole time, I was saying to myself, out loud, "I can't believe you're actually doing this." I don't even understand it. What enjoyment did I think I was going to get from looking at the place where he lives?

But satisfying obsessions isn't really about enjoyment. You can't call it that. I got something out of looking at the place where Julian lives, but it wasn't enjoyment.

Every time I see him I am afraid that it will be the last time. It's not fair. It's not fair.

Hopefully I will get less insane when I go to college.

Crap, I have to read all that stuff they have sent me that will let me know what is going on once I get there.

That is all.