I'm a Coward, Part II - 7/2/2007 in 2005 - 2007: High School

Fuck.

I still haven't done it. I still can't do it. I'll do it tomorrow, I guess. After I get home from work. I guess.

I'm sorry Molly. I wish I could just call you and tell you how I feel, but I don't know how I feel. I have no idea. I can't talk to you. I can't even pick up the phone and talk to you.

I cannot think of anything to do besides fart around the internet and try to get it to love me. Loneliness for me manifests itself as the desire to be glued to the internet. I don't even go anywhere interesting on the internet. I just go to the same three sites over and over again and click on things and pray that someone will give me some attention. I do this for hours at a time.

Well it's sort of worked today. I got a few notes on here. (Thanks you guys.) I flirted with Speedy a little bit on facebook. (I joined the group "I wish I had chloroplasts," and then he posted on my wall "I have chloroplasts." Then he drew a chloroplast. Then I drew this: )

I need to do something else now. Maybe I should practice. Yeah, I'll do that. Music loves me back.

Fuck, why can't I just call her?