Blah... in Book of M...

So it’s a new year… I don’t really do the resolution thing, but I have decided that I absolutely have to be more diligent in doing my PT exercises. I need to do them a minimum of 3x a week. So far I did them once… on Monday I think.

With the new year comes shift change at work, so M is now on day shift and J is on evening shift. I had Monday off, so I’ve only been at work 2 days this week so far. And I’ve barely seen or talked to M at all. It’s weird.

I haven’t really seen much of anyone and I almost feel avoided and maybe I am bc I’m sick but still it’s just weird and I’m feeling down and lonely. It sucks.

Friday is M’s birthday. He’s off on Fridays and Saturdays, and since he’s on day shift now, I’m making him a birthday lunch… it’s really more a dinner, but at lunch time. I’m making him meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans. I originally figured it would be me, M, and B eating mainly. There’s 3 other guys that are there normally, but one of them never eats anything I fix or bring and the other 2 are hit and miss. Then today B said he was going to take tomorrow off. I told him he was going to miss out. I didn’t tell him why… I mean he knows I’m fixing meatloaf, but he doesn’t know that I was also planning on making a reese cup cheesecake. I’ve never made cheesecake for work, and quite honestly I don’t know if M likes cheesecake, but I know he loves reese cups. I should have already gotten started, but been sitting here drinking a dark matter and watching zombieland.

Something like the day after I told M I didn’t want to have sex with him, he was like “so you don’t want my dick anymore?” And even though I wouldn’t put it like that… yeah basically that’s what I’m saying. And he’s like “Because you have feelings.” Yes, let’s reduce it to I have feelings.

<insert stalker="" music="" here="">

(My personal favorite is Elvis Castello’s I Want You.)

Not really, but I do like stalker music.

The Thursday before Christmas I made dinner at work. I cooked a bunch of fried chicken so the guys would have leftovers since I knew places would be closed over the weekend. I had a lot going on… M came in the break room and started helping me. He threw away trash, washed dishes, stirred gravy, and even started battering chicken and dropping it in the pot of oil. I had a really good time… probably too much fun in fact. Just working together and enjoying food. He enjoys my cooking and I like making him happy. And yeah I’d like to make him happy all the time, but I don’t think he’s interested. I’m just not his type.