listening to 90s pop rock reminds me of my friend in Sometimes I feel dead inside

well i supposed i should catch you up on things. my gym routine has suffered due to the holidays and my traveling. got to see my family, which is always nice. i always enjoy getting away from the city i live in. though the whole time i’m wanting to be back. its a very weird thing. it was good seeing my family and relaxing a bit. and since i was traveling i started reading a lot more again. then there is the situation where i am being friends to another girl who’s lost. her support system has fallen out from under her. it doesn’t hurt that she’s easy on the eyes, and her personality leans towards my predilections. i’m not sure if i’m going to do anything aside from being there when she needs but nothing more. the thing that is odd to me is she hit one of those points in my brain that causes me to be a bit fond or willing to do something more for the person. its the unasked for or without a foreseen benefit nicety, the act of being nice for no reason hits me pretty hard. seeing as i live in the most selfish city in the world, its nice to have someone act selflessly. the last few people who’ve done something like that for me have become incredibly valuable to my life. even if its something small, like buying me dinner, giving me a comb, remembering my birthday with a cake, or getting me tickets to something that i really want to go to. its small and stupid but means the world to me, and the people who’ve done that i have had their backs or done whatever i can to help them. its amazing how something so little done with no intent of getting anything in return is so powerful. but it is and i appreciate it and tread carefully to not get selfish with these people. so i’m stuck here this girl is pretty and i like her personality but i don’t want to mess up the friendship we have to pursue something that i’m not sure would be more valuable.