trip switch in 2016

7:55pm

Well, things have definitely changed since the last entry. Crazy how much can happen in a matter of days. Almost like a 180 flip in the opposite direction.

I’ll go ahead and give all the updates. This won’t really be that interesting. I just want to keep every thing in one place, for future reference. You really never know what will happen!

So, I ended the last entry around the “someone doesn’t show interest” comment and my reply. That was around 10am. By 8pm I had not heard a single word. I think part of it is the ease of communication that e-mail has brought on, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Instead of sitting around waiting for him to contact me I’ve been reaching out to him. My impatience seems to be getting worse instead of better! I’m not willing to wait days, or weeks, to hear back from him.

I sent another message asking if this counted as disappearing. Which he didn’t respond to either.

sidenote: Wow, talk about things changing in an instant! TF just called me a little while ago. I’m sitting on the couch watching tv and my phone starts ringing. I figured it was probably my brother. He’s the only one that tends to call me in the evenings. I wasn’t really in a hurry to get the phone so I just wandered over there. As I got into the room I saw that there was no name listed and got closer to see a local number. My first thought was JR [but now I’m realizing he doesn’t have a house number any more haha!] and then I thought about it for another few seconds before I decided to call back. It had to be someone that knows me since it’s local.

As I started dialing I realized that it might be TF’s house number. And yeah, he answered. The conversation went from jokes, laughs, and teasing to him saying, “Ok, well, I’m just going to do me and you can do you.” I said “Ok” and I think maybe he said “good luck” and I said “bye” and hung up.

I have no idea what the hell just happened?? How the eff does a conversation flip that quickly? And what the heck does he mean by that? I mean, I was laughing the whole time, but was he serious? Like is that his way of saying he’s done with this? What? Just because I wouldn’t drive out to his house right now? I am so beyond confused. And I want to let it go and wait to see if he ever reaches out to me again, but I really want to know what is going on. I’m so sick of leaving things half-way.

Honestly, in this moment, I do not feel like finishing this entry. Because I came here thinking things were better. I was kind of happy about where we were this afternoon after a ton of emails and a phone call at work. But now it feels kinda terrible and I feel kinda terrible, and this is stupid.

I think I’m ignoring the world’s signs and I’m going to kick myself for this one day.

sigh

rose.
9:07pm

…and I just sent him an e-mail asking what the hell that was. Whether he’ll respond, or not, I don’t know. We’ll see.