A Long Entry About Dirty Politics - 9/3/2006 in 2005 - 2007: High School

Day two passed relatively uneventfully, except that Ally went home sick (which is not too much cause for concern - she's a bit of a hypochondriac) and at night, it was me who got to stand at the back of the arc and conduct. It turns out that I am conducting the entire second song while Eric marches it. I also have a solo.

I practiced conducting my song for much of day three while the rest of the band learned to march it. It is harder than one would expect. For a while, I was very afraid that I would be bad at it. Matt the assistant director's suggestions seemed to make me worse rather than better, and Eric generally disapproved based on what he had learned at drum major camp. But I figured it out slash got used to it pretty quickly, and by the end of the night, when I asked Mr. Thomas how he thought my conducting was, he said, "I think it's great. I think it's fine. It's very clear and you don't need to worry."

It is very enjoyable. It is as enjoyable as I thought it would be. I like standing on a podium at the front and I like driving the music and I really like calling everyone to attention and everyone saying hut. It sends shivers up my spine.

After sectionals on day three, of course, are the elections. And this year, Eric, Schultz and I got to run them. After I explained the rules, Eric asked for nominations for president. A drummer violently raised his hand. Eric rolled his eyes. "Jake?"

"I nominate Noah!"

"I accept!" All the drummers clapped.

"Any nominations for president besides the drum captain?"

"I nominate Dave!" said someone in the horn line.

"I accept!" The horn line clapped.

"Any other nominations?" said Eric.

"I nominate Greg!" said someone in the horn line.

"I decline!"

Eric glared at the tables where drummers were seated. "It didn't work last year, and it's not going to work this year. Any other nominations?"

"I nominate Matt!" said someone in the horn line.

Matt shook his head.

glare "It didn't work LAST year, and it's not going to work THIS year!" The whole band was giggling uncontrollably.

People kept trying to break the voting block. Finally, Danny accepted his nomination. All the drummers booed him. Then as a joke, someone nominated Sarah. She accepted. Then someone nominated Bonnie, and everyone started screaming for her to go up. She lowered her head and shook it, and everyone said, "Awwww."

"No, see," said Eric, "Bonnie's not the kind of person who takes power through democracy. Like, she'll come in here with tanks someday."

Speeches were made. Everyone put their heads down. With the drumline vote split, Dave won easily. He probably would have won anyway, actually. Almost the entire horn line and a few rogue drummers voted for him. He beamed ridiculously when I announced that he had won.

"Any nominations for vice president?" Eric rolled his eyes again. "Jake."

"I nominate Noah!"

"I accept!"

"Chris?"

"I nominate Danny."

"I accept!" Chris grinned. The horn line clapped. The drumline booed.

Several people were nominated, including Bonnie, who declined again. Nick the clarinetist won. In the election for treasurer, the drummers tried a different strategy - about seven of them ran, along with Katie from colorguard. I said, "Are there any other nominations?" Pause. "Like, for Bonnie? Yes, Molly."

"I nominate Bonnie!"

Everyone started yelling again. I believe some people started chanting, "we want a speech." Finally, she silently got up from her seat. Everyone cheered.

"Alright, speeches!" said Eric. "Noah, go."

"Hi, I'm Noah," said Noah, "So... Normally the way this works is... we only have one person from the drumline run for each office and... then the whole drumline votes for them and... then we win. You know like... usually the drum captain is president. Like, I was supposed to be president. But... that didn't work, so... what's wrong with you people? Vote for me. Actually, no, no don't vote for me because... really I just run to make speeches and... I want to make more speeches." People clapped politely.

"Jake, go."

"Hi, I'm Jake. I'm in the drumline. So yeah um... I... Vote for Noah." The rest of the drummers made similar speeches.

"Katie, go."

"Hi, I'm Katie. Basically, I'm not in drumline, so... You should vote for me if you are also not in drumline." People clapped enthusiastically.

"Ohmygod, I'm so excited," said Eric. "Bonnie, go!"

There was dead silence. "Hi. I'm Bonnie," said Bonnie, and then passed the microphone back to Katie. People cheered wildly. Schultz took the candidates into the dishroom.

"Before we conduct the voting," said Eric, "Noah Zarkaine, the drum captain, has asked me to announce that his undergarments are being tampered with. So um... I don't really know what's up with that. Whoever you are, please stop tampering with Noah Zarkaine's undergarments. Okay, heads down."

I beleive that Bonnie got all of the votes except three.

"I just have one thing to say," said Eric after the candidates came out from the dish room. There was a pause. He put his hand in the air. "Heil Bonnie." He put his arm around her and held the mike in front of her. "Bonnie. How does it feel to be treasurer? We want a speech." (Some people started chanting "we want a speech.")

"Get away from me," she said.

"Alright, you heard it, get away from me!" Everyone cheered.

Everyone who was eligble to run ran for secretary.

"Noah, go."

"Hi, I'm Noah. I'm in the drumline. Um... My undergarments are being tampered with..."

"Yeah, dude, I already told them."

"Oh ok. So whoever's doing that, um... Stop tampering with my undergarments. So... You guys haven't voted for me yet. Don't know what's up with that. This is also my last speech, so... I should probably just keep going because I like speeches..."

Eric grabbed the microphone out of Noah's hand and gave it to Jake. "Okay Jake, go."

Most people's speeches were about how they were or were not in drumline. The only memorable one was Craig's, which went like this: "Hi, I'm Craig. I have two points to make: One, I'm not in drumline. Two, my undergarments are not being tampered with."

While the candidates were in the dishroom, Eric and I had a violent, staged argument about how I made fun of his dyslexia last year. "Alright, you guys, I am your drum major and this is a very simple command: Band ten scorn!" He made a face at me. "Come on, scorn! Everyone scorn her!"

"Wow, that's a pretty good scorn face. Your eyebrow's shaking and everything."

"Oh really? You really like it? Because I've been working on it for a YEAR!" Everyone exploded into laughter. "She... She made fun of my natural learning disability! And like... Her mom! Her mom takes pictures! And sends out really long emails! And I promised you crack muffins! And you still voted for her!"

"Yeah, that's right! They voted for me! Not you, me!"

"You wanna go?"

At one point, I ran over and shut off the microphone, in response to which he screamed "I will not be silenced!"

Toby won secretary by a small margin. At this point, Schultz took the mike and said, "So if we want to beat Steve Smith's record time of two hours and fifteen minutes, we still have..." he looked at his watch. "Forty-eight minutes to kill. So... Does anybody know any good jokes?" Mr. Thomas glared at us and tapped his watch. Eric took the mike. "So, Mr. Thomas is glaring at us and tapping his watch, so... Elections are over! Good elections, everybody!"