too late in Sometimes I feel dead inside

well another year down. i can’t say i’m happy about things. the funniest part is for once its not due to the annual reflect on the year and be disappointed. i was actually alright with the past year. sure i’m not where i want to be yet, i’ve made progress. its not something that’s disappointed me. my love life just isn’t a priority to me so that wasn’t problematic. there is a young lady i’m fond of but nothing worth getting excited about. i don’t really think she’s into me. its not important. mostly cause i’m not sure if i trust her yet. anyhow, i’ve been down all week my weekend left me feeling more alone than i have in a long time. now mind you there was a surplus of activities that occupied my friends time. but i was still disappointed that i was left to my own devices. its stupid and its petty. i know this. i still wanted my friends to hang out with me. but that didn’t really happen. i mean its the one day a year i would like people to kind pay a little more attention to me. one of them forgot completely which sucked as they have gone out of their way for years to make sure i wasn’t alone, totally forgot after i reminded them the previous day. made me want to just walk away from everyone. its stupid i know. i’ve been exhausted all week. maybe i have the wrong idea about people. maybe it was wrong to hold people to the same standard i hold myself. i’m disappointed but will take it out on the appropriate target. not people just go work it out at the gym, the iron never lies and i always feel better after going.

Last updated December 09, 2016