You Changed Me Forever... in Just Moments

~So recently something happened that was really unexpected with this guy that I dated 10 years ago and we’ve been in touch over the years and actually tried dating again 4 years ago and then that didn’t work and actually this summer I thought that maybe we would try again, but then he didn’t want to… but he did attend two weddings as my date, one of them being my sister’s wedding and we’ve always had a fun time together… Well we went to a concert together this past Sunday and I didn’t expect anything to happen between us, I mean he does have a girlfriend now so I wasn’t going to push anything and honestly I just like spending time with him so I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that. But throughout the night he kept putting his arm around me and kept touching me in ways that would be considered a little more than friendly. I wasn’t going to make anything of it, especially because we were in public and it didn’t really bother me. As the night progressed he kissed me. I didn’t initiate it and after I broke it off he came back for more… Needless to say we left the concert and other shenanigans happened later that I really didn’t expect. Then he said something to me that has been bothering me since. So I don’t really sleep around, I’ve only slept with 3 guys total, and one of them raped me so only 2 guys that I’ve actually wanted to sleep with and he is one of them. And after the shenanigans he told me that it had been a while for him… Now I know that his definition of a while is about 2 weeks but still. Told me he hasn’t had much of a sex drive. I’ve known this guy for 10 years and one of the reasons we broke up 10 years ago was because he was pressuring me to have sex and I wasn’t ready for it. This guy loves sex and now that he has a girlfriend to give it to him whenever he wants it and he isn’t getting it… Makes me think. He had no problem on Sunday. So I’m not sure if its me, if he really should be with me and just doesn’t realize it yet or if he just wanted to cheat on his girl… I don’t know. Its been bothering me. I mean it doesn’t change anything. As much as I think we would work out in my head, I don’t think in reality we would. We talk about once a month and see each other every few months as he lives over an hour away… but still makes me wonder. Just something I’ve been pondering…

~In other news I’ve been at my job a full year now! I can’t really believe it. I mean after I got laid off I thought that I would never get a job and then this just happened and then it took 8 months for me to actually get hired on and now that I am and I’ve been there a year, it just seems so surreal. I’m really grateful for my job. I love the people and my job (well most days! :) but being in HR will do that). This job has allowed me to move out of my parent’s house and be fully responsible for myself and learn what it really means to be independent. And they literally took a chance on me. I didn’t even interview first. My supervisor saw my resume and was like she looks good and I started the next day. Mostly that happened because she needed the help. December is a really busy month for HR people so she was just dying and needed me. And luckily I fit into the role and culture of the company really well. The owners just love me. I do a few personal assistant stuff for them from time to time and they are just great guys. I fully believe that we are placed in certain jobs for a reason and I know this job was hand picked for me and I’m so thankful for it!

~Otherwise not much else has been happening. I’ve really gotta get going on my Christmas shopping and I just haven’t been really in the Christmas mood even though I helped decorate one of the trees at work today (we get two real trees and one artificial every year). Hopefully I have some motivation this weekend to get a lot of it done!! Gotta get it done before it snows anymore!!! If you’ve never driven in snow you wouldn’t understand but it sucks and the first few snows of the year are the worst as people seem to have forgotten that you need to actually slow down and take your time… also the roads haven’t been adequately salted so ice forms easily. So yeah Merry Christmas!!! <3