Java Jam, etc. - 3/25/2006 in 2005 - 2007: High School

First of all, everyone is talking about the prom. I have realized that the prom is probably going to complicate my existence whether I like it or not. It is making me a little stressed out.

Tuba Kid asked Valerie. I saw him talking to RJ in a conspicuously secretive way one day during lunch.

"Dude, don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. I mean, last year she went with me."

"But... But... I don't want it to be even more awkward... I can't... Damn it." At this point, Valerie had just walked up to the table. "Uh..." he said to her, "So I guess you don't want to... You're all set for... You don't want to go with me... Okay, okay, that's fine." He ran away.

At this point Valerie looked horrified and said, "I thought he was joking before!" She spent the rest of lunch fretting.

"Valerie, what's the big deal? Why don't you want to go with T.K.?" I said. "I mean, he is the coolest freshman ever."

"But... But... Ugh, I thought he was joking!"

"So... What's going on?" said Dave.

"Prom."

"Ahh."

After a few seconds, I got up the nerve to ask what I thought might be an awkward question. "...Are you taking Kaylah?"

"NO!" he said immediately. "Ugh, she's coming to Boston next weekend, and I don't want to see her." Pause. "... I'll probably end up asking someone as a friend." I avoided eye contact with him until the subject was changed.

Eric has three dates this year. As he was telling us about it, he remembered that he hadn't yet told Alice. He turned around and mentioned it to her casually. She said, "Oh no, not again!" (Eric keeps a picture from last year's prom in his wallet. He has Lydia on one arm and Liz on the other. They are looking rather gorgeous and he is looking rather smug. People tend to "accidently" see this picture whenever Eric pays for anything.)

Yesterday was the Java Jam. We hung out for an hour and a half "doing a sound check" before the actual thing started. Once it started, I began to feel incredibly nauseous and exhausted and overall like I was going to pass out. I sat there for a while, feeling shitty, then I went down to the bathroom and sat there feeling shitty, then I played (not sure how I pulled it off) and then I called for a ride and went home. I think it's sleep deprivation - I really haven't gotten more than six and a half hours in about a month, even on weekends. I feel bad that I had to leave though. It seems like it would have been a really good time.

Dave did not get high. He actually told me yesterday at jazz band - he announced as soon as I sat down next to him: "I'm not going to do it." It came up again when we were sitting around on the pillows in front of the stage during the "sound check."

Dave: I wonder what Tom's doing right now.

Me: Hmmmmm.

Dave: Hmmmmm. Yeah, I think it turned out better for everyone that I didn't do it.

Me: Yeah. Except that Tom's mad at Molly now.

Dave: What? Why?

Me: I dunno, teenage drama.

Dave: No seriously - for convincing me not to do it?

Me: Yeah, I guess... I mean, is she the reason you didn't do it?

Dave: ...Yeah, pretty much.

Pause.

Julian: Ahh, blissful ignorance.

I lay down on one of the pillows, since my nausea and exhaustion were setting in. He lay down and rested his head on the same pillow. I was slightly uncomfortable with this, but my nausea and exhaustion won out over my discomfort. Julian looked at us, and then stood up and walked away.

Me: We'd better hope we don't both fall asleep.

Dave: Julian would wake us up.

Pause.

Me: Pf, No he wouldn't.

Dave: Yeah, that's probably true.

We both laughed. Then I stood up and felt shitty in the bathroom for a while, because - and I feel like this is why I do too many things when Dave is around - I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

Molly, hurry up and tell him how you feel. Or at least ask him to the prom. I can ask Tuba Kid or someone... Or something. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, actually.

We played BourÈe (a.k.a. the Jethro Tull Thing). We did pretty well. My solo was fairly rockin, although it was less rockin than it had been when I'd practiced it. Julian's solo was pretty awesome too. Dave was perfectly competent, and so was Noah, even though no one ever really told him what to do. After people cheered really loudly, I called Eric up on stage and we played him happy birthday. Alice came out with a cake, and Eric blew out the candles and kissed her on the cheek, and she looked depressingly thrilled. Then I just remember getting a lot of genuine-sounding compliments, some of them from better-than-me guitarists who used to treat me with slight contempt, before I got the hell out of there and passed out on my bed. The compliments made me very happy, but I had weird, unsettling dreams where I was desperately trying to hang around with Julian while Dave was trying to hang around with me, and Julian was just running away all the time...

Molly and Valerie came, and invited me to go prom shopping. I declined because I had an interview. (More about that later.) And I thought, "Shit, this used to be a long way off."