Thanks giving weekend in 2016

2:36pm

I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve written and yet it hasn’t even been a full week. It just seems like so much has happened. I thought there was an entry started somewhere, but maybe I was starting them all in my head and not actually typing them out. The internet hasn’t really been my hang out place lately with so much going on.

Thanksgiving went really well. I mean, it was kinda stressful with all those people there. I don’t know why it wasn’t as relaxing as it usually is. We had a smaller version of the group over last night for leftover flautas and that was way more relaxing, so who knows what was going on.

Anyway, we made a bunch of food but not nearly as much as we usually do. We only had one kind of pie! The turkey came out a little dry, which is our pride and joy, but my aunt also opened the oven a couple of times and everyone arrived right as we were getting ready to pull it out. Those are the only excuses I have. =) I stuck with drinking whiskey for the whole day. That probably helped me survive the small screaming child we had over [who decided it would be fun to dance and jump with me in the kitchen!]

It probably also helped convince my brain I should send TF a bunch of text messages. =] heh. oops. Y’all know I lose my filter when I start to get a little tipsy. I’m all free and open with all my flirting. Also, it was kind of the perfect excuse, being Thanksgiving and all, and I still hadn’t heard anything back after the “wanna grab a drink” text.

So around 3ish I sent a “Happy Thanksgiving” text and said that I hoped he was enjoying time with his family. He replied pretty quickly saying that he was and wishing me a happy thanksgiving as well. About an hour later I said thanks and straight up asked if he was just messing with me about that drink. He said of course not that he would like to have a drink with me. Then you know I started getting tipsy because winky faces got involved, and I started sending almost immediate replies to a lot of stuff, and the conversation continued:
Me: So would I.. with you I mean ;)
TF: So when can I take you out for a drink?
Me: Whenever you want…
TF: ummhhmmm [what does this mean? I don’t even know what word/sound that’s supposed to represent. lol]
Me: Right now works for me =]
TF: Oh sweetie, I have my son tonight. He is going to his uncles in a little bit if you wanted to have a drink at my house??? [Ha! You wish dude! Getting me alone in his house would be dangerous!]
Me: Since when do you call me sweetie? Lol. I think I’ve already passed my limit to drive out to your place. [Ok, honestly, if I were sober I might have taken him up on the offer. Screw danger. hah!]
TF: Oh, look at you drinking it up. So am I supposed to come to you? [Duh. lol]
Me: It is a holiday =) Coming here would be like walking into the lion’s den lol. All my family is over here.
[sidenote: I really wanted to say yes to him coming over, despite the people, but I think it was a combination of whiskey and my high self-confidence coming from how good I looked in my dress. ha! It’s probably best that he doesn’t see me like that yet though. For both our sakes. ;)]

He went on to say that maybe another time then. We talked about how that shouldn’t scare him away. He said it didn’t. I said it was because he hasn’t met them yet. haha. And I said that I’d remind him he said he didn’t scare easily. He said it was fine to remind him later [oh just wait until I get to throw that back at him!] and around 10 I asked what he was doing the next day and if he was going to hit black Friday deals. He ended up responding the next morning that he wasn’t going to and I said it was my 1st day without a set plan so I was winging it.

I didn’t hear from him again until Saturday night. I had been at Y’s house all day for our Gilmore Girls marathon [so good! still processing! haha]. It was a good distraction, although I did check my phone a couple times, especially when I was feeling particularly sentimental and started missing conversation with him.

We finished the marathon kinda late and they asked about dinner so we ended up going out to eat. I kinda thought I was just going to go home when we were done, but then I felt bad because they seemed to want to go out. So we’d just gotten seated at the restaurant [there were a lot of people out, and about a 20 minute wait] when I felt my phone buzz and looked into my bag to see a text from TF saying “hi”.

[At the very end of dinner (which consisted of chocolate pb cake and whiskey for me lol) her husband R (I can’t believe she’s married!) had gone to the bathroom and Y asked if I’d seen TF again. She seemed shocked when I said no and asked how long we’d been talking. I couldn’t remember exactly, but maybe like 3 months. (since texting started. I’ve obviously known him much longer than that) She was even more shocked that we’ve only been together once since then. ha. Idk why I feel like defending this w/her but I explained that we started talking right as I did all that travelling and that we’d actually gotten together the 1st week I was back. Also the whole kid thing. And texting sucks! R came back pretty quickly though so that convo ended]

I didn’t respond until we’d left there after 10. It didn’t feel right to pull my phone out when we were talking/eating/drinking/laughing. So in the car on the way back to their place I said hello. He said hello back. I asked what he was doing up so late. He said he couldn’t sleep.

I’d gone up to their apartment but only to grab my stuff and say bye. It was late already and I had to drive all the way home. And of course I jinxed myself when I said I hoped it wasn’t raining and then hit the rain as soon as I got onto the freeway. First time driving in the rain at night. Friendly reminder as to why I hate driving. hah. I’d sat in the car texting TF back though before I took off. I said it sucked that he couldn’t sleep and that I was just leaving [beach town]. He called me a party animal and asked if I was out drinking. “Maybe a little =) just hanging out with friends.” Then he asked if by “friends” I meant my mom. Jerk.

I was already on the road at this point, and I definitely don’t text and drive [especially on windy roads in the pouring rain at night] so when I took the first exit and no one was around I sent a text back saying he was funny.

Then when I got home at almost midnight I said that I hoped he’d fallen asleep but if he ever needed to vent those thoughts that kept him up, I’d always be around.

He responded, “I fell asleep.” at four in the freaken morning!!! That’s seriously the earliest he’s ever sent a text. I thought something was wrong with me when I saw how dark it was and looked at the clock! Crazy guy! I’d only gone to bed at 1:30a.

I made a joke, around 11, about him getting up way too early and how does he even survive. He said he was better off than if he got too much sleep. Nothing else was said until around 3 when I said that I’d forgotten to invite him over for flautas again. haha. He asked why about an hour and a half later. Then it was like another hour before I got around to my phone again and I was literally trying to come up with a response when I got another text from him asking why I forgot with a bunch of exclamation points and question marks. hah. I blamed it on him and his responsibilities and how he’s impossible to hang out with. I said I figured he was too busy anyway. He just asked “really?” And I said he knew it was true. Then he said that he will always make time for flautas! It was around 7 when everyone finally left and I said, “ouch! I see where your priorities lie!”

And that’s where the conversation lies. :) I probably won’t send anything out today, unless I reach a tipsy state tonight at dinner [our friends from last night invited us over to their place. haha]. Perhaps I’ll send something out tomorrow though. I really want to see him in person again! [I feel like this should be the week he doesn’t have his son, if my calculations are correct]

I was reading back on my last entry and I saw that last part about putting my guard back up and trying not to fall all over something that doesn’t exist. Ha! Clearly my guard came down already. I just feel so instantly comfortable with him when we’re actually communicating. I like talking to him. I like our weird joking arguments. I don’t know if I could honestly sit with my arms folded up in my lap if we went out again.

I certainly don’t want to give out mixed signals. I mean, they wouldn’t actually be mixed if I could just be all open, and honest, and let myself feel whatever it is I feel. But I still feel like he’s going to walk away after I tell him and letting myself get attached is only going to hurt me in the end.

I’ve definitely decided though, no matter what happens [and I refuse to talk myself out of it!!], if we do hang out again I am for sure going to tell him. It’ll probably be at the end of the night when we’re going our separate ways. I certainly don’t want to bring it up and then spend more time stuck in the truck with him, or wherever. Also, why not have one more night, right? I can handle that. Give myself some moments to look back on. To keep me sane in case I never meet anyone ever again who I feel this connection with! That feels like it’ll be an ok thing to do. Plus it’ll be one more night to convince him I’m totally worth all the trouble. ;)

I’ll let you know, as always, how it goes.

rose.
3:46pm