As was mentioned by Molly, a teacher at my school died over the weekend. He couldn't have been older than thirty five, and as of Friday he was perfectly healthy. He just had a heart attack, out of nowhere, and now he's dead. I never had him, I just heard about him from other kids and saw him in the hallways once in a while. Even still, it freaked me out. There was no warning at all. One day he was at school, teaching, walking through the hallways at high speeds, and the next day he was dead. In every one of my classes, there were kids who had had him. Some of them were crying, but some of them just looked like they didn't believe it yet. That Steven kid from my Odyssey group showed me a CD that the teacher leant him on Friday. It was called "One Bush, Two Bush, Old Bush, New Bush" and it still had his fingerprints on it. The weirdest part was seeing the teachers. Especially Mr. Sampson. The teacher was a friend of his, I'm pretty sure. He used to come into our 20th century class, and they would make fun of each other. Mr. Sampson was pretty much in tears for the whole class. His voice cracked as he talked. We talked about the whole thing - he let kids tell stories about the teacher, and for a while, I think most people forgot that he's not alive anymore. We watched a movie after that, and whoever in the class was crying cried in the dark.
Basically, death in general freaks me out. It bothers me a whole lot that at some point, my consciousness will be gone. All of my memories will no longer exist, so everything that has ever happened to me will be like it never happened. Not only will I be gone, but to me, it will be like I never existed. And that could happen at any time, without warning. Then I start thinking, what if instead of Mr. Peters it had been Mr. Sampson? What if it had been Molly? What if it had been Julian?
I guess all I can do is try not to think about it. But this is the kind of thing that pulls you out of the Matrix a little bit, you know? The things that happen in my little world don't seem to matter quite as much.
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