So today I decided not to go home before jazz band. When I asked Dave what there was to do around school while waiting for jazz band, he said, "Why don't you come to philosophy club?"
"Eh..." I said. (I have actually considered going to philosophy club several times, but since I found out that Julian goes I have decided not to, because even if I told myself "It's about the philosophy. Really," I don't think I could trust myself not to be going just to stalk him.)
"Don't worry, it's not boring or anything. It's usually philosophy for the first half hour or so, and then it dissolves into, 'Who would win in a fight: Steven Hawking or a robot clone of Steven Hawking?'"
I came up with several excuses, all of which Dave shot down. So I went to philosophy club.
The advisor of philosophy club is a strange, long-haired Spanish teacher named Mr. Yonnick. (Yes, as in Rob's father. Interestingly enough, Noah's father is a math teacher at the school, and I think the four of them hang out and jam sometimes.) However, the person who really runs philosophy club is Tom. He is the president. In my opinion, this title fits Tom better than anything else I could think up: President of the philosophy club.
Basically, the whole thing consisted of a group of very liberal teenagers trying to argue with each other about politics but not really getting anywhere because they all agree. There were probably about twenty people there. I got stuck sitting next to Special K (who apparantly pops in and rambles once in a while). Dave sat next to him. Next to him sat a group of five or six very eccentric, very liberal people, including Tom. Next to them were about ten freshmen girls. Julian sat at the end of the row of freshmen girls in one of those tiny desks that fall over if you sit on them. (He did not seem to quite fit.) Next to him was Mr. Yonnick, and there was a big gap in the circle before it got to me again. Tom led the discussion, being obnoxiously liberal. I tried to play devil's advocate, talking a lot and expressing viewpoints I didn't agree with just to de-liberal things a bit. The eccentric kids argued with me, sometimes getting quite angry... And being obnoxiously liberal. Special K rambled. The freshmen girls got off topic with each other. Dave jumped in with odd facts from American history. Mr. Yonnick said nothing, and neither did Julian, although he raised his hand several times and then changed his mind.
Julian bolted out of the room as soon as it was clear that the discussion was over, and I walked down to the Williams Center with Dave. We stood in the big empty space that serves as a lobby when shows are being put on. We talked for a while about how ridiculous that discussion had been. Then I wondered where the hell Julian was, and he said he didn't know. Then when there was a pause in the conversation and I said, "Adam is a relentless suck-up."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he stays after class in Odyssey every day. I mean, most people will hang around for a few minutes and talk to Mr. Sampson after class once in a while if the discussion was really interesting, but he does it every day, and he's always the last person in there. I've heard what he has to say, too. He doesn't even have interesting questions. It's mostly just, 'Guess what, I've read about Asian history and I'm smarter than everyone else in the class.'" Dave laughed. "And he repeats everything Mr. Sampson says. I'll ask a question, like, 'Doesn't this relate to this?' and Mr. Sampson will be like 'No,' and then Adam will be like 'No,' and laugh shake his head all... knowingly. Even though my question has clearly already been aswered and he didn't know any more than I did."
There was a pause.
"He has gotten this way, hasn't he?" I demanded. This is something I've been wondering for a very long time.
"Yeah, he has. He didn't used to be like that at all."
"He used to be quiet and nice and thoughtful and... Not an arrogant jackass."
"Yeah," said Dave. "That's why everyone used to like him, and now no one likes him. He was a nice kid." Pause. "You know what it is? I've figured it out: This always happens when quiet kids get too socially confident. They just get ridiculously arrogant."
"Are you just basing this off of this one case?"
"No, I've seen it happen with other people... Like with Elijah's brother, and... Other people."
"That's weird... I wonder whether it was always there, with Adam, and I just didn't notice because he didn't talk. I suppose I did notice it sometimes - that he was a little full of himself - but it was never as bad as it is now."
"Maybe there's just something like that inside all quiet people."
At this point, Noah came running down the hallway singing some funk song at the top of his lungs. (The top of Noah's lungs is pretty freaking loud.) "You guys! Ohmygodyouguys! I just called Giant Glass, it was so funny, I was like 'Um, this is the New England Aquarium, we have a problem' and then I hung up. And then Ari called Giant Glass -" (he pointed at the weird, quiet pianist with him, who had his eyes lowered, as usual) "-and he was like, 'Do you have any zoom stat?' and the lady was like 'what's zoom stat?' And Ari was like 'You don't know what zoom stat is? Zoom stat is pretty standard for, you know, a glass company.' Ohmygod it was... Uh... I... I guess you had to be there." There was a pause.
Then without warning he resumed the funk song and ran the other way down the hallway. Ari followed him. Dave and I looked at each other.
"So anyway," I said once they were gone, "Where the hell is Julian?"
"I don't know."
"Hm... If you were a Julian, where would you be?"
"Um... Hiding from you?" he suggested. There was a pause. He looked as if he weren't sure how I would react, and I wasn't sure to what degree he was kidding.
"...Yeah, that's probably true," I said. He laughed. The door opened. I turned around.
"Oh," I said. "I leaned against the handicapped door opener thing."
"You thought it was him, didn't you?"
"No."
"You definately stared at him for the entirity of philosophy club."
"Yes, I am aware of that."
And he was not once looking at me, I thought. The more time goes on - the more awkward I get - the more I feel like he notices and avoids me...
The silence was interrupted by Jason, who came in and struck up a conversation with Dave about how funny it would be if a guy auditioned to sing "respect" for the JV jazz band.
Jazz band (varsity) went okay. And I am probably not going to do any homework tonight. I am defintely into my end of the semester slide - finals start in three days. I am enjoying being able to take time off without feeling guilty about it though. This weekend, I went shopping for clothes at the mall with my mother, and I got all excited about it because I haven't been shopping for clothes in like six months. That is very sad.
I also got to visit Emma. Cassandra was there, and so was Helen (obviously.) It was a pretty good time, and nothing seemed weird between me and Emma, even though we haven't really talked to each other in a long time. I'll have to go back soon.
We talked about the prom while I was there, by the way. Alicia always talks about the prom. My mom bought me a prom magazine for Christmas. Why is everyone talking about the prom!? It's January!
Mr. Casto: Okay, just horns, play the first chord in measure thirty seven.
We play
Stonerdrummer: Mm. That was horny.
(Nobody could control their breathing enough to play anything else for a while, which led to a lecture about how we all have to take jazz band much more seriously. Eh, it was worth it.)

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