I can't outrun you in 2016

5:02pm

Talk about weird coincidences.

All day I’ve had this weird thought process running through my conscious about TF. It was different than the usual “oh this sucks” “oh I can’t decide what to do” that’s been going on lately. Just like an idea that there would be some kind of contact. Like we’d hear something about the work situation, or something.

It’s impossible to explain. It was just one of those things you feel that you can’t describe in words. I’ve always had this “psychic energy” with him. Like having these thoughts about him and then getting a phone call. Or having the thoughts and then finding a letter in the door at work. I haven’t had any thoughts like that in a while though; not since we started talking outside of work. Although perhaps I just haven’t been as keen to spotting those moments since the contact was pretty regular.

Anyway, I’ve been meaning to type this entry up for most of the day, but work has been distracting. Plus I kept reading bookmark entries in order to procrastinate. Then right before I started this entry I walked by my phone to glance for messages [my brother’s had this weird brain fog going on and I’d sent a text earlier. Also it’s my cousins’ birthday so I was waiting for acknowledgment of our text] and sure enough there was a text sitting in the inbox. I figured it was my brother saying something else, or maybe the cousin [although now I’m not sure he actually has his phone at the academy]. Of course there was still that tiny part of my brain that wanted it to be TF, just to see what he’d say.

So I click to view, and it takes a few extra seconds to load, then I immediately see “TF” pop up at the top. I think, “there’s no way in the world” and the message says, “Hello stranger” with some kind of emoticons [emojis?] that I can’t see on my old phone. It was sent right after 4 o’clock this afternoon.

Uh…weird world catches me off guard again!

I really did not think there was any actual possibility of hearing from him. I thought maybe on one of the holidays coming up, but not before then. What is he even going to say to me? I mean, I’m going to respond. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. But what will he say after that? Will he bring anything about the other day up?

I should probably text back to find out, huh? Instead of over-analyzing it to death before it even happens. haha.

Kinda nice to know he’s still interested in talking. The real test will be if I ever get the opportunity to make that confession to him.

I just wish he would have been ok with just being friends right now! We could be such good friends! Like I know we’d have a ton of fun hanging out without all this added pressure. I can guarantee it. Just a couple of people sitting back, drinking [or whatever], and shootin’ the shh. It would be so fun! I swear.

But nooo, he has to want more. He has to imply he wants more. He can’t just be satisfied with what I can give him right now. I mean I’m about to start work full time anyway. After January I basically won’t exist anymore, let alone have time for some weird complicated game.

We’ll see how it goes. I’m going to wrap this up to head home, have dinner, and figure out how the conversation is going to go. I really need to write about this insanely vivid dream I had last night, but I’ll do that later when I have more time. I gotta get out of this office while I can since I’m basically stuck here alone tomorrow.

rose.
5:49pm