Saturday Morning in New Diary

I’ve bee up since 3:30 this morning. I didn’t sleep all that well. I feel a bit down this morning. I’m not thinking about anything in particular. I just feel very down for some reason. Actually I do have a reason to be depressed and it is a long story.

Last month Chocolatechip’s ex husband took me to Wal Mart. I promised him $10. When the first came around he said that he would be happy with $5 since I also gave him a can of coffee. I set aside the ten I was going to give him. But I spent it when he said he would accept $5 He called Chocolatechip yesterday and said he would be ay for the $10 today. Now he wants the original ten after he told me $5 would be enough.

I have $10 left. I am going to give it to him. I promised him ten and I will give him ten. I am upset though because he said $5 would be enough. Now he is changing his story. But I’m not going to argue with him. After all a promise is a promise. I am only happy that I still have some money left to give him

I have been up since 3:30 today. I didn’t sleep all that great last night. Actually I don’t mind getting up that early. I fix coffee and get out my NOOK. I did a lot of reading this morning. I am almost finished with this one book I’ve been reading. The Idea of America: Reflections on the Birth of the United States by Gordon S Wood. I have two more chapters to go.

I feel a bit down today. I don’t know what hit me this morning. I was sitting at my kitchen table reading and drinking coffee. I was having a good time and enjoying my book. All of a sudden depression hit me. I felt so sad and lonesome. I usually don’t get tot feeling lonely but for some reason I felt very alone this morning and that made me feel depressed.

I wanted to call Chocolatechip but it was too early. I just sat at my kitchen table. I thought of my parents and the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas was such a big thing for my family. My sister and her family would come along with my brother his wife Sandy and five kids. The house would be full of people. I thought about them and they are all gone now. I am the only one left. There isn’t a day goes buy where I don’t think about my parents. I guess with the holidays coming I miss them more .

But I will have a good time at the holiday. Chocolatechip and I ordered a turkey dinner from Christ United Methodist Church. They are supposed to call her and deliver it today. Then Weirton has a Community Day Thanksgiving Dinner at the Senior Center. We always go down there for Thanksgiving. They have a good dinner every year and it is free. I will be looking forward to that .

Chocolatechip always goes all out for Christmas. She bakes about a mil/lion different kinds of cookies. She gives them out as Christmas presents. I always get a big plate of cookies for Christmas. They are pretty good. Then she always cooks a nice dinner for Christmas day. She always makes it special. I am very lucky.

There is no reason to get depressed for the holidays. No reason at all and I will not let myself get depressed. I was just thinking about my parents and got very sad this morning. I really missed them today.