monkeying around in 2016

1:00pm

I am currently sitting at work [shhh! don’t tell my boss ;)]. Entries like this might be happening more often as I start spending more time at the office and less time at home. The dread is starting to sneak in to my conscious because there are going to be a lot of changes this year. We are also still waiting to find out when they are going to tear down our building and if it happens any time in the next few months it is going to get crazy around here. I’ll just leave that one in God’s hands for now.

My hands are freezing today. Perhaps typing up an entry will help get the blood flowing. The office isn’t even that cold, but I just don’t move very much when I sit here all day. I’ll have to start getting up to do some exercises or something. I’ll also probably start up my morning routine once we hit full time. That really seemed to help last year in terms of not having a lot of knee/hip pain after those long hours in a chair. Plus I am way stronger now than I was at this time last year so that’s a bonus.

I’ve actually been looking into starting some new exercise stuff. It sounds kinda crazy but I’d really like to build a set of monkey bars in my backyard. They don’t really sell an adult version of them though. Everything attaches to a pre-existing play place so I’d have to invent my own. Not that it’ll be that hard. Some posts in the ground, some posts braced across the top, and then bars bolted in. No big deal. =) I’ll just have to find a good place in the backyard to put it.

I’d considered trying to figure out gymnastic rings as an easier alternative [I wouldn’t have to build anything. I could basically buy and have everything I need within a week]. But 1) they don’t seem as fun as monkey bars. I mean I spent so much time on those things as a kid. It was by far my favorite activity and I was strong. 2) I think they might be harder to manage since you’re basically holding yourself up by your wrists/shoulders the entire time. At least on the bars you’d be swinging in different positions and have the ability to hang by your feet if need be.

Mostly I just think this would be a lot of fun! And I’d get some good exercise in the process! I know I’ll never be the type of person to hit a gym and lifting weights is getting difficult because you’re always needing to advance to something heavier. Body-weight training would always be changing without requiring any new equipment. Win-win!

We’ll see how it goes. It might be the type of project that needs to wait until after the season. Although it would make for a fun Christmas present to myself and we still have time to accomplish it. I could basically knock it out in a weekend. Decisions, decisions.

So, yesterday was a very depressing day for me. Part of it is definitely because I am not sleeping well at night. The insomnia has hung around for so many days now that I’m barely even noticing it. The day with TF totally added fuel to the fire too. It gave me so much more to think about and run through my head. I pop awake, and my mind starts running, and then I can’t stop it.

Also, this thing about my Uncle is hitting me hard. Like way hard. In a way that I never expected. I’ve dealt with so much death in my life that I figured I was pretty immune to the whole thing. I guess not. =|

The combination just made for a bad morning. I could barely drag myself out of bed. All I wanted to do was lay there cuddled up in my blankets and not move or think about anything. I was so unmotivated that even a “good morning” text from TF went unanswered for a couple hours. There was temptation not to answer at all but the conversation the night before had ended on that weird note and I didn’t want it to seem like something was wrong.

Eventually I got up and tended to my responsibilities. We had to come into the office so I needed to get moving to make it in by noon. And I finally responded to the text. When I asked how his day was coming along he said, “it’s going” which is so uncharacteristic for him. He’s usually so enthusiastic about everything. It kinda matched my mood though so it was fine. He asked how mine was and I said that it had started out rough but I was working on it. That there were plenty of hours left for improvement. Then he winked at me. lol. His responses are so strange sometimes.

Being at the office all afternoon did not help much. I still have this annoying cough that seems to come out of nowhere and I cannot get rid of. I didn’t feel like dealing with anyone and we were busy. It just wasn’t very helpful to my state of mind.

At the last minute Mom and I got out earlier than expected, and even though it was still late for our normal happy hour run, we decided to go to Taco Tuesday anyway. We tried calling my aunt [she was “busy”] and also some friends [they were out of town] and then we just went on our own. It’s probably better that way.

We got there around 6pm and the place was packed. When the bartender saw us he said to grab a chair and he could squeeze us on the end of the bar. The people next to that spot ended up moving over [they’re also pretty regular customers] after he said we were nice people to sit with. haha. It definitely boosted my mood too. Nothing like sitting at a bar drinking margaritas by the ocean to make you feel better at life. Mostly I sat there watching him make drinks all night. So that was interesting. Tequila makes everything better! =]

Also, I sent TF text messages in my tipsy state. Because why not, right? hah!

I’d sent one as we were leaving the office to say that things had not improved at work and I was going with Tuesday tequila instead. We’d talked about our Tuesday drinking the other day in the car. I even showed him the place when we were walking the area. He agreed it was a smart idea. lol. Even coming up with why it was so smart. I mean my response was that it was just a really good day of the week, but he came up with this whole thing about how Monday’s suck and you have something to look forward to by celebrating making it through the day on Tuesday. Then you have hump day and the week’s basically over. Which, yeah. That’s what I was trying to say. ha. When we got to [beach town] I noticed a response from him saying “hell yes!!” and included a thing about how if he didn’t have his son he would have considered joining us. I said I would have considered inviting him if it wasn’t a school night [b/c I like to throw things back at people! =] and that he’d have to take a Tuesday off some day. I got another “hell yes” after that.

Then [what turned out to be only like an hour later] I started tipsy texting him. lol. [Is that a thing? Because that sounds cool! haha!]
I said, “Ok. Too much tequila. I forgot it wasn’t Saturday. lol! =P”
TF: Really?
Me: Maybe… We’ll just say it’s stronger than the beer I had. :)
TF: I bet
Me: [only 3 margaritas later…] Not the same without you ;)
TF: Awww, I had a good time with you!
Me: [on the way home already…] Good! =) I also had a good time, but shh don’t tell TF. I’d hate to make his ego any bigger!
TF: Lol, go to bed.

Because he’s clearly not into my silly texts at night. haha! They weren’t even that bad. I wasn’t saying anything crazy. I am glad he put that “lol” in there though. I would have been pretty offended if he were just straight up telling me to go to bed because I was drinking too much. I can’t stand anyone ever trying to regulate my drinking. Yes, I drink on a Tuesday afternoon but I am super responsible with my drinking. I’ve known my limits since the day I turned 21 and started drinking regularly.

So anyway. It was a good call on his part. The way he said it made it just come out like he was sitting there rolling his eyes and telling me to “knock it off” like he says when I tease him. Not sure why he was texting so late anyway. He doesn’t usually have signal at his place. But better for me to not be ignored. haha.

I ended up responding “whatever you say ;)” and that’s where it sits. I haven’t heard from him today, but it’s probably for the best. My [super subtle] flirting is hard to handle. =P

I am a little worried about flirting with him only because I’m super paranoid that he’s going to up and walk away when he finds out that I can’t be with him in that physical sorta way.

But whatever happens, happens. Right? I don’t want to censor myself just because I’m too worried about future implications. This is me, right here, and there isn’t much I can do about it if it’s not your style.

Welcome to learning more about me! lol.

rose.
3:56pm